UGH.....

Well folks - it seems this momma spoke too soon about not having morning sickness! : (

YUCK! Starting yesterday all went down hill. Now I haven't been throwing up or anything but still just a very horrible amount of feeling AWFUL! Nauseous, light headed if I'm walking around too much, yuck, yuck, yuck. I hope since it has started late it doesn't mean that I will be stuck with this into the 2nd trimester.

I'm trying really hard to drink water. I didn't drink enough water yesterday so maybe that is adding to my general feeling of crappiness. Who knows? I shall do my best to drink more. Can't keep up with anything though. Tons of dishes to do. And of course since I don't feel well enough to do anything I WANT to do things. Figures.

There can be days where I want to just watch TV even though I feel fine but as soon as I HAVE to lay down I don't want to. Here's hoping our tater tots aren't as annoying as their mommy LOL ;) At the very least I am still eating plenty and not throwing up (thank goodness)! I have been watching episode after episode of American Picker on Netflix after finishing up 3 seasons of Pawn Stars on Netflix last week. Thanks to my dear friend Melissa got me into Pawn Stars and I just LOVE it! Luckily I have my news regular season TV shows starting this week so that will give me something to do if I continue to feel sick. I watch incredibly too much tv and I love it so I figure I better enjoy it this season because it may be my last season for watching many of these shows. Sad to lose them but happy to give them up for my tater tots :)

Well, I'm alive over here. Far too hot - even though it's only like 70 degrees outside (but I am ALWAYS hot)! Slept with the air on in the bedroom last night which helped and I've had it on in the living room today which helped too. Weird? Sure! But who care - it makes me feel better! Well... hot, nauseous, light headed.... but alive! I figure feeling like crap usually means all is good so my tots are worth the yuck! Thank goodness you don't get morning sickness AFTER the babies are born LOL that would not go well.

Tonight my new show "Up All Night" is on - I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone with children. I don't have any on Earth yet but I feel the stuff I am laughing at now may make me cry next year LOL ;) !!! Nonetheless it's fun to watch! ;)

Riley & Peyton we love you so very much. I feel you with me every day my sweet angels. Give Nana big hugs and kisses for me every single day. I know she must be so excited that I am having twins. She would have been thrilled if she were still here but I am glad that she is happy, pain free, and with both of you. It brings peace to my heart even through my tears. Always be there for each other and watch over us. We miss you!

I'm so sick of this!

Ok so seriously! I don't have a hole lot of energy in me right now but I just wanted to get this out. I am so DONE with being sick! I have been sick 4 times in 9 weeks. Most of the time I was sick for at least a week and  a half. I'm just so sick of all of this.

Whether I go around people ho are sick or stay home and away from people SOMEHOW I manage to get sick! It's freaking ridiculous! Last night I woke up every 1-2 hours. At 4 am I was coughing so bad I felt like I was choking and like I might blow out my ear drums and there was NOTHING I could do to stop. Now that I am awake I am barely coughing at all! GO FIGURE! This is so stupid. And on top of that I have been on medication for 2 days today will be the third day so you would THINK that I would start to feel BETTER! 
Geesh!

I really wanted to wake up and go to church today but given my total and complete lack of sleep I just couldn't do it - I also didn't want to hack all over everyone. I'm sure those at church are happy I stayed home!

I can't believe ho long it has been since I have done a Cheers & Jeers! I've not much been in the mood with being sick so often! But once I am better again I'll have to do one and liven this space up a little ;) Also I participated in the 25 days of giveaways and STILL have not had a chance to make the giveaway items because how awful I have felt :( I do plan to make each of the 4 winners a little something extra to make up for the long wait :)

Please keep me in your prayers! A dear BLM friend of mine suggested probiotic vitamins so I am going to start taking those once I am done with my antibiotic.  Anyways thanks to those of you who listened to me vent. Time to lay down and move as little as possible and hopefully start to feel better in the next couple of days!

OH and to end on a positive note... I was thrilled to start mt morning out by winning the giveaway on Melissa's blog: Amazing Mikayla Grace I was SO excited to have won because I truly could not afford to purchase the calendar (2011 year of the babylost calendars). SO I am thrilled about that at least :) and another new BLM friend who is just lovely asked me for my address the other day to send me something. It constantly amazes me how lovely all you BLMs are and how much we all come together to put a smile on each others faces :) !! I love you all!

The Rabbit Hole!

Ok so even though this movie was VERY limited release I figured out a way to watch it.

There is a link below to one of my OTHER blogs (my movie review blog) where I wrote a review of the movie.

Check it out - I could copy and paste it but that didn't strike me till right not. I have a respiratory infection so I can't even believe I got on here to write anything.

CLICK HERE to check it out. If at all interested follow my blog I review movies all the time :)

Oh and keep me in your prayers that I feel better in the next few days I don't want this to turn into bronchitis! If it did I couldn't celebrate Christmas with my family :*(


Also I was brought to tears by this beautiful Christmas card sent to me by Mikayla's momma. I don't know where she found it or if she wrote it but it is amazing and I felt the need to share it - hope you don't mind Melissa! <3

I see the countless Christmas trees, around the world below, with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting on the snow. The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear, for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year! I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear, but the sounds of music can't compare with Heaven's Choir up here. I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring, for it's far beyond description just to hear the angels sing! I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart, but I'm not so very far away ; we're really not apart. So be happy for me, Dear Ones, you know I hold you dear. And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year! I send you each a special gift from my Heavenly home above. I send you each a memory of my undying love! After all, love is The Gift more precious than pure gold. It was always more important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do, for I can't count the blessings or the love He has for you! So have a Merry Christmas, and wipe away that tear. Remember...I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year!

<3 Riley & Peyton <3

Momma misses you so much but I am at peace that you are able to spend Christmas and EVERY DAY with Jesus Christ! I love you so so much!

and remember $5 off angel plaques from now until 2011 :)

Day 25 & 26 - and a bullying article about "Fatties"

Day 25 - My day in great detail

Well I should have posted this yesterday soooo yesterday I slept in, showered, went to my parents to do my laundry. Watched some HGTV while waiting for the laundry to be done. After about 2 hours I left with my laundry completed and came home. I had a quick salad for lunch and then went to my hair appointment at 2:30 - showered my hair stylist my earrings I make - she bought 3 pairs (I sell them 3 for $20) and then waxed my eyebrows and cut my hair. Which made it an even trade LOL I gave her the $20 back. After that I talked for awhile with someone who knows I am a BLM. Little did I know however that she also lost a child. She was going through chemo and had NO idea she was pregnant until 5 months! Not long after though - because of chemo treatments and what not - she found out the baby had died. We talked about our faith though through such tragedy and all in all it was comforting. I mailed out two pairs of peacock feather earrings I had just sold in my Etsy shop and then I went to the grocery store got a pumpkin and some other stuff and then came home. After that I watched some t.v. shows and went on the random number generator site and choose my giveaway winners. Then made pancaked and eggs for me and my husband. Some more t.v. and other boring things and I went to bed way too late....

Day 26 - My week in great detail

BORING - Ummmm I was sick so not much happened
Last Monday - sick, enough said (lost 3.2 lbs. on weight watchers) - watched tv on the couch,  Last Tuesday - repeat of Monday - Last Wednesday - starting to feel better, went to an unemployment meeting, picked up sonograms at my doctors office, got my tattoo touched up, Last Thursday - Not feeling great again - more couch time - Last Friday - read blogs - went out with Nate to see Hereafter and ate at Outback Steakhouse - yummy! Saturday - bummed around the house - Sunday - Church, groceries, watched t.v., painted - Monday - laundry, posted giveaway winners - Today (Tuesday) - Painted, watched a whole lotta Lifetime Movie Network. Yep I'm boring - but hey - to each their own right?


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Ok on to bigger and better things (or in this womens opinion bigger and grosser)
CHECK OUT THIS LINK AND READ THIS ARTICLE and the stupid pointless apology at the end...

Overweight Couples on Television - Marie Claire



THIS below was my comment on the site after reading this filth:

"I was DISGUSTED that this article was published. I don't think that you deserve to be a writer if you are going to write articles filled with hate. Honestly in your "apology" if you can call it that - you actually made it WORSE! Saying that you did not MEAN to hurt people or be offensive - give me a BREAK! Do you think "fatties" can't READ! Because guess what we CAN! Did you think no "morbidly obese" people would read this - because I'm sure they have and I'm sure they will! Congratulations on creating a name for yourself by being a size-est bullying disgusting person. And seriously saying that you will give people TIPS to lose weight! Really how full of yourself can you POSSIBLY be. I seriously hope you read ALL of these comments and that you realize what a completely ignorant person you are. It is NOT easy to lose weight - for some with certain biological issues it can be downright impossible (I know a few). So get down off your skinny little high horse and look around the world - Obesity is rampant - making nasty hateful comments is not going to get it to go away. People like you are not going to make it go away. Have a heart woman - maybe your hateful attitude is why you need to "marry your job" and I would say that marriage could end once Marie Claire realizes how many people canceled subscriptions because of your stupidity. At your age you should know better. How dare you say fat people kissing grosses you out - what are you 4 years old? Seriously! Exceptionally skinny people can be gross to me but I don't go around and write an ARTICLE about it! Get over yourself. And while you are at it maybe think of a better apology... because the one your wrote is pointless."


Society makes me so sad sometimes.... the title of my comment was " You should be BEYOND ashamed of yourself!"

Sometimes people just make me SICK!


Riley & Peyton momma loves you and I am glad you are someplace where you will never deal with such hate. All you know is love and that makes me smile. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and miss you more than I can describe.

Sickness/Dream silliness/Upcoming giveaway & Day 21 - A recipe

FIRST of all - I will be starting my store's GIVEAWAY tomorrow! It will last for a few days to give you all a chance to do what you must do to enter (details to come tomorrow) and then I will choose a winner with a random number selector :) SO KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR THAT TOMORROW!!!!

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I started feeling better yesterday but I had a bit of a cough still... not bad though. UNTIL I went to sleep then COUGH COUGH COUGH - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It was awful I barely slept at all until my husband went to work and then I didn't have to worry about waking him up so I managed to get about 4 hours of sleep or so.... Well don't ya know that now that it's night time again my cough is starting up again GEESH - my aunt said to put Vick's vapor on it would help the cough go away... she even said to put it on the bottom of my feet... I hate the stuff but I am willing to do it if it will help - worth a try.....

On a similar note I woke up at like 8 in the morning laughing my butt off LOL (NO idea what I was dreaming about haha) then I went UGH I need more sleep and just went back to sleep.... LOL - too funny right?

SOoooo I still need you ladies to give me suggestions on books I can read about other BLM's I want more personal stories rather than statistic type books. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!!!!

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Day 21 - a recipe
I choose a weight watchers recipe that I LOVE!!!! Seriously if you like pumpkin give it a try!! SUPER easy to make too :) :) :)

Weight Watchers Pumpkin Mousse

(1.5 points per cup)

Ingredients:

• 2 small packages of instant sugar-free vanilla pudding
• 2 cups of no-fat (skim) milk
• 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin spice
• 15 ounce can of pumpkin
• 8 ounces of fat-free Cool Whip

Directions:

1. Make pudding first with the 2 cups of skim milk.
2. Fold in the rest of the ingredients - spice, pureed pumpkin and Cool Whip.
3. Serve!

Day 14 - 16 & the past few days.... and now I'm sick :(

OK sorry I am behind - which is unusual for me I usually post EVERY day - but it has been a crazy few days - I'll explain below.

Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.

Ok the first book I completely read about losing a baby was "I will carry you" by Angie Smith. I bought it at a Selah concert (her husband is in Selah - a Christian group) currently I am also reading "An exact replica of a figment of my imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken. Seems like I will like this book also... we shall see.

Day 15 - what you like about your house.

Hmmm well what I don't like about it is it is not my house - it is the upper floor of a house my friend owns that we rent. But that is not the answer - I guess what I like the most is the layout. Huge living room. Separate kitchen (both other apartments my husband and I have had were combined kitchen and living room) - and the two bedrooms are down the hall from the living room. This is nice for times when my husband wants to stay up late and play video games which I have no interest in hearing LOL


Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).

Held by Natalie Grant

Although I will carry you by Selah does also.

Held was sang at the Walk to Remember last week though and it made me cry a lot - so that one is a bit more touching at the moment. But I will carry you will always be the first song that greatly touched me about baby loss.

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So the past couple days. Wed. I substitute taught. It was a pretty good day all in all except for one class that I had to lecture like they were five year olds - they were actually in sixth grade so their behavior was ridiculous! I went to bed early that day because I was exhausted and then Thursday woke up and jewelried my ever living butt off! I made 70+ pairs of earrings! Then went off to the party at my mom's house - we sold my jewelry and she did her consultant thing for Longaberger. We both did well and the party was fun. I got to see my cousin and her 4 year old daughter who I just love so much! She's a sweetheart - I made he a little bracelet with her name on it and "princess" :) She loved it and helped me find letters.... it was fun. I also got to hold my cousin's baby a few times - he's so handsome and such a cute baby! It makes me a little sad to hold babies sometimes because (not to sound full of myself) I really think I will be a great mom and when I hold babies or see babies all I can think of is that that is what I am missing out on... it makes me sad. Someday....

Last night we went to see Mary Poppins the musical. It was great! Their sets were fantastic and the cast did a wonderful job! My dad was not as huge of a fan because it did not follow the movie a ton. It was a bit out of order. There were MANY characters and scenes that were not in the movie, etc. The more I thought about it - it's kind of smart to make it that way though because the mucial is not likely to live up to the movie if you already grew up LOVING the movie - ya know? It was fun but I digress..... Last night my throat started hurting and guess what this morning.... full on feeling like crap :(  My uvula (hangy ball thingy in your throat) is extremely swollen and even though I wanted to sleep later than I did I could not breathe well (woke up a LOT last night because of breathing issues) and my throat hurt so much :(  I forgot to mention also that I wore my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope shirt to the play in honor of my babies on Oct. 15th. I also made this photo with all Heaven's Doves (so far).... (if you have a dove in this photo and would like it emailed to you - let me know!)

On a positive note my husband is out spending a small fortune on medicine, cough drops, and throat spray so that should help me nip this thing in the butt (yes I know it's supposed to be bud - but as I told me mom when I said this last night I like to be unique LOL)....  OH and I am so stupid and out of it and I'm a moron and just took the nyquil NIGHT TIME stuff so apparently I will be a zombie all day. What an idiot I am!!! I'm NOT happy with myself right now! : /

Soooo hopefully I feel better by Monday afternoon because I have a meeting to go to and then Tuesday I am supposed to substitute, Wed. I have to go to an unemployment meeting (what fun - NOT) and so on....

If there are any typing errors - give a girl a break I'm sick ;) - off to rest I go I hope everyone has a better weekend than it seems I will be having : / And hopefully I don't sleep it all a way : (


Riley & Peyton mommy loves you. I wore the shirt with your names on it with pride yesterday and I am sure many read your names. You are real and people read about you. You are loved, so very very loved. You are in my heart always....