Saturday, October 16, 2010

Day 14 - 16 & the past few days.... and now I'm sick :(

OK sorry I am behind - which is unusual for me I usually post EVERY day - but it has been a crazy few days - I'll explain below.

Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.

Ok the first book I completely read about losing a baby was "I will carry you" by Angie Smith. I bought it at a Selah concert (her husband is in Selah - a Christian group) currently I am also reading "An exact replica of a figment of my imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken. Seems like I will like this book also... we shall see.

Day 15 - what you like about your house.

Hmmm well what I don't like about it is it is not my house - it is the upper floor of a house my friend owns that we rent. But that is not the answer - I guess what I like the most is the layout. Huge living room. Separate kitchen (both other apartments my husband and I have had were combined kitchen and living room) - and the two bedrooms are down the hall from the living room. This is nice for times when my husband wants to stay up late and play video games which I have no interest in hearing LOL

Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).

Held by Natalie Grant

Although I will carry you by Selah does also.

Held was sang at the Walk to Remember last week though and it made me cry a lot - so that one is a bit more touching at the moment. But I will carry you will always be the first song that greatly touched me about baby loss.


So the past couple days. Wed. I substitute taught. It was a pretty good day all in all except for one class that I had to lecture like they were five year olds - they were actually in sixth grade so their behavior was ridiculous! I went to bed early that day because I was exhausted and then Thursday woke up and jewelried my ever living butt off! I made 70+ pairs of earrings! Then went off to the party at my mom's house - we sold my jewelry and she did her consultant thing for Longaberger. We both did well and the party was fun. I got to see my cousin and her 4 year old daughter who I just love so much! She's a sweetheart - I made he a little bracelet with her name on it and "princess" :) She loved it and helped me find letters.... it was fun. I also got to hold my cousin's baby a few times - he's so handsome and such a cute baby! It makes me a little sad to hold babies sometimes because (not to sound full of myself) I really think I will be a great mom and when I hold babies or see babies all I can think of is that that is what I am missing out on... it makes me sad. Someday....

Last night we went to see Mary Poppins the musical. It was great! Their sets were fantastic and the cast did a wonderful job! My dad was not as huge of a fan because it did not follow the movie a ton. It was a bit out of order. There were MANY characters and scenes that were not in the movie, etc. The more I thought about it - it's kind of smart to make it that way though because the mucial is not likely to live up to the movie if you already grew up LOVING the movie - ya know? It was fun but I digress..... Last night my throat started hurting and guess what this morning.... full on feeling like crap :(  My uvula (hangy ball thingy in your throat) is extremely swollen and even though I wanted to sleep later than I did I could not breathe well (woke up a LOT last night because of breathing issues) and my throat hurt so much :(  I forgot to mention also that I wore my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope shirt to the play in honor of my babies on Oct. 15th. I also made this photo with all Heaven's Doves (so far).... (if you have a dove in this photo and would like it emailed to you - let me know!)

On a positive note my husband is out spending a small fortune on medicine, cough drops, and throat spray so that should help me nip this thing in the butt (yes I know it's supposed to be bud - but as I told me mom when I said this last night I like to be unique LOL)....  OH and I am so stupid and out of it and I'm a moron and just took the nyquil NIGHT TIME stuff so apparently I will be a zombie all day. What an idiot I am!!! I'm NOT happy with myself right now! : /

Soooo hopefully I feel better by Monday afternoon because I have a meeting to go to and then Tuesday I am supposed to substitute, Wed. I have to go to an unemployment meeting (what fun - NOT) and so on....

If there are any typing errors - give a girl a break I'm sick ;) - off to rest I go I hope everyone has a better weekend than it seems I will be having : / And hopefully I don't sleep it all a way : (

Riley & Peyton mommy loves you. I wore the shirt with your names on it with pride yesterday and I am sure many read your names. You are real and people read about you. You are loved, so very very loved. You are in my heart always....


  1. I feel for you. I've been sick for two weeks because of a cough from HELL! Argh(>_<)! I hope you feel better soon, it's no fun being sick. Thinking of you and your babies, Riley and Peyton.

  2. I hope you feel better soon! My husband did the same thing the other day, taking the nightime stuff on accident. So you're not alone on that one!


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