OK sorry I am behind - which is unusual for me I usually post EVERY day - but it has been a crazy few days - I'll explain below.
Day 14 - a non-fictional book that is meaningful to you since your loss.
Ok the first book I completely read about losing a baby was "I will carry you" by Angie Smith. I bought it at a Selah concert (her husband is in Selah - a Christian group) currently I am also reading "An exact replica of a figment of my imagination" by Elizabeth McCracken. Seems like I will like this book also... we shall see.
Day 15 - what you like about your house.
Hmmm well what I don't like about it is it is not my house - it is the upper floor of a house my friend owns that we rent. But that is not the answer - I guess what I like the most is the layout. Huge living room. Separate kitchen (both other apartments my husband and I have had were combined kitchen and living room) - and the two bedrooms are down the hall from the living room. This is nice for times when my husband wants to stay up late and play video games which I have no interest in hearing LOL
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly).
Held by Natalie Grant
Although I will carry you by Selah does also.
Held was sang at the Walk to Remember last week though and it made me cry a lot - so that one is a bit more touching at the moment. But I will carry you will always be the first song that greatly touched me about baby loss.
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So the past couple days. Wed. I substitute taught. It was a pretty good day all in all except for one class that I had to lecture like they were five year olds - they were actually in sixth grade so their behavior was ridiculous! I went to bed early that day because I was exhausted and then Thursday woke up and jewelried my ever living butt off! I made 70+ pairs of earrings! Then went off to the party at my mom's house - we sold my jewelry and she did her consultant thing for Longaberger. We both did well and the party was fun. I got to see my cousin and her 4 year old daughter who I just love so much! She's a sweetheart - I made he a little bracelet with her name on it and "princess" :) She loved it and helped me find letters.... it was fun. I also got to hold my cousin's baby a few times - he's so handsome and such a cute baby! It makes me a little sad to hold babies sometimes because (not to sound full of myself) I really think I will be a great mom and when I hold babies or see babies all I can think of is that that is what I am missing out on... it makes me sad. Someday....
Last night we went to see Mary Poppins the musical. It was great! Their sets were fantastic and the cast did a wonderful job! My dad was not as huge of a fan because it did not follow the movie a ton. It was a bit out of order. There were MANY characters and scenes that were not in the movie, etc. The more I thought about it - it's kind of smart to make it that way though because the mucial is not likely to live up to the movie if you already grew up LOVING the movie - ya know? It was fun but I digress..... Last night my throat started hurting and guess what this morning.... full on feeling like crap :( My uvula (hangy ball thingy in your throat) is extremely swollen and even though I wanted to sleep later than I did I could not breathe well (woke up a LOT last night because of breathing issues) and my throat hurt so much :( I forgot to mention also that I wore my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope shirt to the play in honor of my babies on Oct. 15th. I also made this photo with all Heaven's Doves (so far).... (if you have a dove in this photo and would like it emailed to you - let me know!)
On a positive note my husband is out spending a small fortune on medicine, cough drops, and throat spray so that should help me nip this thing in the butt (yes I know it's supposed to be bud - but as I told me mom when I said this last night I like to be unique LOL).... OH and I am so stupid and out of it and I'm a moron and just took the nyquil NIGHT TIME stuff so apparently I will be a zombie all day. What an idiot I am!!! I'm NOT happy with myself right now! : /
Soooo hopefully I feel better by Monday afternoon because I have a meeting to go to and then Tuesday I am supposed to substitute, Wed. I have to go to an unemployment meeting (what fun - NOT) and so on....
If there are any typing errors - give a girl a break I'm sick ;) - off to rest I go I hope everyone has a better weekend than it seems I will be having : / And hopefully I don't sleep it all a way : (
Riley & Peyton mommy loves you. I wore the shirt with your names on it with pride yesterday and I am sure many read your names. You are real and people read about you. You are loved, so very very loved. You are in my heart always....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So the past couple days. Wed. I substitute taught. It was a pretty good day all in all except for one class that I had to lecture like they were five year olds - they were actually in sixth grade so their behavior was ridiculous! I went to bed early that day because I was exhausted and then Thursday woke up and jewelried my ever living butt off! I made 70+ pairs of earrings! Then went off to the party at my mom's house - we sold my jewelry and she did her consultant thing for Longaberger. We both did well and the party was fun. I got to see my cousin and her 4 year old daughter who I just love so much! She's a sweetheart - I made he a little bracelet with her name on it and "princess" :) She loved it and helped me find letters.... it was fun. I also got to hold my cousin's baby a few times - he's so handsome and such a cute baby! It makes me a little sad to hold babies sometimes because (not to sound full of myself) I really think I will be a great mom and when I hold babies or see babies all I can think of is that that is what I am missing out on... it makes me sad. Someday....
Last night we went to see Mary Poppins the musical. It was great! Their sets were fantastic and the cast did a wonderful job! My dad was not as huge of a fan because it did not follow the movie a ton. It was a bit out of order. There were MANY characters and scenes that were not in the movie, etc. The more I thought about it - it's kind of smart to make it that way though because the mucial is not likely to live up to the movie if you already grew up LOVING the movie - ya know? It was fun but I digress..... Last night my throat started hurting and guess what this morning.... full on feeling like crap :( My uvula (hangy ball thingy in your throat) is extremely swollen and even though I wanted to sleep later than I did I could not breathe well (woke up a LOT last night because of breathing issues) and my throat hurt so much :( I forgot to mention also that I wore my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope shirt to the play in honor of my babies on Oct. 15th. I also made this photo with all Heaven's Doves (so far).... (if you have a dove in this photo and would like it emailed to you - let me know!)
On a positive note my husband is out spending a small fortune on medicine, cough drops, and throat spray so that should help me nip this thing in the butt (yes I know it's supposed to be bud - but as I told me mom when I said this last night I like to be unique LOL).... OH and I am so stupid and out of it and I'm a moron and just took the nyquil NIGHT TIME stuff so apparently I will be a zombie all day. What an idiot I am!!! I'm NOT happy with myself right now! : /
Soooo hopefully I feel better by Monday afternoon because I have a meeting to go to and then Tuesday I am supposed to substitute, Wed. I have to go to an unemployment meeting (what fun - NOT) and so on....
If there are any typing errors - give a girl a break I'm sick ;) - off to rest I go I hope everyone has a better weekend than it seems I will be having : / And hopefully I don't sleep it all a way : (
Riley & Peyton mommy loves you. I wore the shirt with your names on it with pride yesterday and I am sure many read your names. You are real and people read about you. You are loved, so very very loved. You are in my heart always....
I feel for you. I've been sick for two weeks because of a cough from HELL! Argh(>_<)! I hope you feel better soon, it's no fun being sick. Thinking of you and your babies, Riley and Peyton.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon! My husband did the same thing the other day, taking the nightime stuff on accident. So you're not alone on that one!
ReplyDelete