Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Day 13 - Fiction book

Day 13 - a fiction book that means something to me after my loss

Can't really say there is one. The only fiction books I have really read since my loss were a part of the Circle Trilogy but I had started them before my loss too so I can't say they had a great impact on me after my loss. I do love them though. They are by Ted Dekker - Red, White, Black, Green and then Chaos, Lunatic, Renegade and some others (those were not in order though LOL) I still have the last one to read (Elyon) since losing Peyton I have barely read it - been reading non-fiction books on miscarriage and other women's losses, etc.

So anyways - boring answer - sorry ;) I would write more but subbing tired me out today off to bed early to get an early start on jewelry tomorrow so I am prepared for the party :)

Oh I did hear one thing today - first time I cried in public in quite awhile. Luckily it was between classes and I had a break the next period. The test results came back from the testing of the remains from the D & C - guess what? After waiting 7 freaking weeks - what did they find - NOTHING! It took them 7 weeks to tell me they could find nothing?!! What a waste of my time and energy - the nurse is like I'm so sorry - I'm like "m'am honestly the whole situation sucks this is the least of it it just is ridiculous to wait that long when the doctor said waiting would mean they would find something out. It's just frustrating" - she responded with "well try to have a good day" HA! Yea okay lady I have no answers to why I have lost both children - you just gave me more additions to the no answers box but I'll go "try to have a good day" GEESH! Anyways that was a crappy part of my day.... on a positive note I am having the jewelry party tomorrow and Friday I go with my parents to see Mary Poppins the musical! :) :) :) Me and Mary Poppins are like this (crosses my fingers) LOL - we go WAY back ;)

Goodnight Riley & Peyton I love you so much and I miss you every single day!


  1. That really sucks. I am so sorry:( I was praying so hard for you to have some answers. I know how badly you wanted them. My brain really isn't working too well right now because I am so tired, but please know that I truly care about you and those precious babies. I am praying for you.

  2. Just got caught up with lots of your posts - the shirt you wore on your walk was great. I love that you personalized it.

    I have tons of books that remind me of my losses. I also am so much more aware of pregnancy and loss in books now. It's surprising how often it happens. Just like real life, I guess...

  3. That really does suck. Dan & I went through tons of testing after we lost Isaac & Hannah & never got any answers. It drove me crazy. The Dr told me he couldn't see any reason why I we couldn't go on to have a healthy pregnancy. I know how your feeling, (((hugs)))

  4. That sucks so much. I am sorry, people who haven't experienced this kind of loss sometimes say things that I just get so frustrated with. Hugs to you both.

  5. Sorry about the lack of news from the D&C :-(


  6. "try to have a good day" omg, that woman would have gotten an ear full from me! that's brutal. I'm sorry you didn't get any answers. I know how that feels, Blaine's death was officially ruled "a fluke"


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