Friday, February 20, 2015

Autism: Different NOT BROKEN

Motherhood...whew I am blessed YES blessed beyond measure. Would not change my children for the world. We had been given some worrisome news about our sweet Logan back in October. His Early Intervention teachers think he may be on the Autism Spectrum. As a mom you NEVER wish for your child to have a label. A label that could make his life more difficult at times. It was a hard few days when that label was brought into my mind. Did I love Logan any less? OF COURSE NOT! To be honest some of his "autistic red flags" are some of the things I love SO SO MUCH about him! Those are parts of him. They may not be TYPICAL behavior (I am learning not to say NORMAL as that is an ugly word) but they are beautiful. He is beautiful. His brain is a mystery to me and I LONG to learn ways to help him communicate. To understand his gorgeous lil' mind.

Of course though at the same time I know Autism will provide struggles. I try to look at that and say well geesh we ALL go through struggles. I have battled severe depression, multiple miscarriages, and so much more. Sadly I may endure more. Is my child having Autism anything like those heartaches? Nope. It is a blip. It does not change who my boy is it just means he needs some help. He will get it. I will assure that. This Mama bear is a FIERCE protector. I will fight to get him EVERY BIT of help he needs. That is my job.

Isn't he gorgeous? Wow I mean I am biased OBVIOUSLY but dang we made some cute boys! So I think with being a BLM (baby loss mama) there is an added amount of mommy guilt. Is it just me? AM I crazy to think that? I feel like I lost three babies so my 2 boys should have the best life I can give them! I mean any mom wants that for their child....but I don't know some days I just don't feel like I'm ENOUGH. I know I am enough (watch Mom's Night Out if you have never seen it - and thank me later - GREAT FLICK) but man I have my days. Logan was our first baby to make it. We lost his twin to miscarriage and 2 babies before that as well. Riley, Peyton, and Cameron. Logan was the first kiddo we held. Whew what a feeling. SO I know bits about autism that are popular, Lack of showing emotion, eye contact issues, etc. Well Logan has none of those so even with his speech issues, etc.  I just never thought Autism. I had NO idea that him being good at playing alone. And not being as much of an attention hogger like Lucas (I never noticed until there was SUCH a difference between them at similar ages). I had no other child to compare to.... so I didn't know there were all these red flags. NO CLUE. I was smart enough to see he was frustrated without the ability to communicate so I DID seek out Early Intervention and he has been having classes since he was 18 months old. They tell me I was proactive and that was the best time he could start getting help. That makes me feel better.

Don't even get me STARTED on the vaccine debate. My child being vaccinated was NOT what caused him to be Autistic. (I have to approve all comments so don't bother arguing your point. No one will ever see it). But ya know what? The little tid bit I WILL say about that.... EVEN if I believed vaccinations could cause Autism (and I DO NOT believe that) I would still take that chance so that my child did not DIE from some horrible disease. Autism is not a life threatening disease. It is a life long label. But a happy long life can be lived. VACCINATION DEBATE TALK OVER. So sick of it I could just barf.

With all this being said we have NO IDEA at this point WHERE on the spectrum Logan falls. We will know more at the end of March after his ADOS testing has been completed. Until then we do all we can to help him, to be patient with him, and to love him. As we will always do. He is different not broken. He is atypical not weird. He is fantastic not to be feared. He is loved LOVED loved! I never was a fan of NORMAL and I am all about being DIFFERENT. So bring it on Autism, bring it on. I am ready. We will embrace it, live through it, endure with love and light and happiness.

On a different note. I applaude my positivity. It amazes me daily. I have NEVER been the most positive person. The clown, the comic, sure. Through sarcasm - you betcha and I don't plan to give that up LOL. But never the cheerleader (even when I WAS one). Never the YOU CAN DO IT type. But oh my the difference 5 months can make. Younique is a direct sales company - yep - a naturally based cosmetics company that sells the freaking best mascara out there. But it is SO MUCH MORE. I have met hundreds of ladies, and men, who have FILLED my days and nights with positivity, with encouragement, with life lessons and wisdom to help me daily AND in my business. We do not COMPETE with each other. We HELP each other. We are their during each other's struggles. We lift each other up. MAN it is powerful! AND I make money doing it. I mean DANG - doesn't get better than that.

 This video is amazing:

It's a blessing. I am blessed.

UPDATE: Logan was not on the Autism Spectrum. Still not taking this entry down though - I meant every word. I would be okay if he was Autistic but I am thankful he doesn't have that hurdle to deal with in life. He is my little hero no matter what!

Riley, Peyton, Cameron: LOVE you sweet babies!

Copyright ©2011 Small Bird Studios| All Rights Reserved |Free Blog Templates at Small Bird Studios