tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59517181744916651542024-03-13T10:55:48.593-07:00Too Beautiful for EarthJessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.comBlogger221125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-49823730536583916252016-01-19T21:39:00.002-08:002016-01-22T11:22:01.552-08:00<br />
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<b> The things I wish people NEVER EVER SAID!</b></h2>
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**READ ENTIRE ENTRY before you get all high and mighty**</div>
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1 - First thing no one should ever say..... ANYTHING to degrade someone's appearance EVER<br />**you're too skinny, fat, dorky looking, gawky, awkward.... etc. etc. RUDEEEEE**</h2>
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First off let's get something straight! EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL! You are ALL freaking BEAUTIFUL! I don't care if you are 100 lbs. or 600 lbs., I don't care if you have acne, or think you are freakishly tall. Or that your nose is too big. You know what. YOU are the way YOU are meant to be in this moment! God made us who we are. Can we alter that, sure we can. But we are all <br />
<u><b>B E A U T I F U L!</b></u></div>
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1) Societies views of BEAUTY are beyond psychotic. It is sickening and sad how quickly children think they are too fat or feel bad about themselves. Sickening. Adults are teaching them these socially constructed ideas....WE NEED TO STOP THIS. Teach our children to LOVE EVERYONE to see beauty in all people. STOP the judgement.</div>
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2) We are adults - and we are the worst with this. People who are hearing these degrading words likely have called themselves that or thought that EVERY DAY! People know what they look like, know what people think. I wish we could all see how beautiful we were to those who love us. I wish we all knew that. I hope for even ONE moment that beauty is shown to each and every one of you through something, someone. You deserve it. </div>
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3) Life is beautiful. Life is good. Life is SO MUCH MORE than our looks. The sooner we can see this - the sooner there are more beautiful days to share with others....</div>
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DO NOT LET THE WORLD TELL YOU THAT YOU AREN'T BEAUTIFUL!</div>
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Easier said than done - heck yes!</div>
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2 - "You are SO lucky to have it EASY and get to be a Stay at home mom..." Add to that "Oh you JUST have X amount of kids...."</h2>
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Mothers deal with a LOT - WAY too much to be honest. As a stay at home mom we get the glory of it all (sarcasm intended)! We deal with far more than most AND on top of that we have morons thinking we are living the high life not having to work. </div>
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1) Many moms would like to work - would like to get out a bit. Childcare is expensive. Logically many stay home because why on Earth would they work just to pay someone else to raise their children.... and then there would be judgement for THAT.</div>
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2) It is not EASY by any means being a stay at home mom - it is WORK lots and lots of WORK. To the point where honestly I find it hard to relax...when most people leave the mess in their office they can forget it till the next workday....not me because I LIVE WHERE I WORK! So I am constantly reminded of the failure to clean the counter, do the laundry, do those dishes in the sink... so on and so forth. NOT FUN PEOPLE - NOT FUN!<br />
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3) Stop saying JUST in regards to kids. EVERYONE has different things to deal with as a parent. We all have different things to deal with in regards to our children. So by saying JUST it implies that we are lazy our somehow doing something wrong by not having/wanting more children. It is not your right to assume that you know how many kids anyone should have NOR should you assume they CAN have more children - you may have hit a VERY tough nail there with that simple saying and seriously put a dark cloud over someone's day. THINK.</div>
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4) Stay at home moms have the most under-appreciated, overly glorified job known to the world. Here anyone who is NOT a SAHM thinks it's the bee's knees AND we get paid NOTHING. We have the hardest job that literally NEVER ends. We are at our job 24/7 - no sick days, no vacations, no personal days. On call ALWAYS.</div>
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5) If we are seen in public it is somehow shocking our child(ren) are not tied to us.... and then if daddy is with them he is praised for being so great to BABYSIT..... um he's not babysitting - they are HIS KIDS - and also - my so easy job I do EVERY day is someone now massively noteworthy for him? Crazy.... I would say so (no qualms on my hubby here - this is not his doing and I DO appreciate those moments of grocery shopping to not have to take an unwilling child - but I think you get my point) <br />
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6) As a stay at home mom it can be VERY hard to feel like you lost that part of you that felt useful bringing money into the household. To lose that part of your identity. To be seen as someone taking care of the house, the kids, the husband. It can begin to feel almost demeaning. It's hard</div>
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I digress....I could go on and on<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">(in
the same respect lets not judge working moms - we all do what we need
to do. Just don't judge in general - I just feel being a SAHM is too
glorified...when in reality it is NOT easy!)</span></h2>
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3) "Why are you so emotional, sad, just wake up and BE HAPPY"</h2>
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Mental illness is a huge epidemic. People view suicide as weakness. It is often the result of a mental illness. The sad end to a person who could not handle what their brain and body were put through. It was not selfishness. It was not the easy way out. It was not any of the awful things people say and think. </div>
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1) There are SO many mental illnesses. The most commonly heard I imagine is Depression. Been there. Terrified DAILY (literally) that I will become depressed again. There was no cause of my depression. It literally seemed like I woke up one day and I was sad. UNbarably sad. I sought help. Went through some hellish, awful times, and improved. But I still get sad. For apparently no reason. In those moments I fear that sadness won't send. It''s terrifying. It's a constant struggle. But I am so happy to be who I am. To not be labeled "Depressed" anymore. But that time taught me more than anything DON'T JUDGE mental illness. You do not have ANY idea what that person is dealing with!</div>
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2) Medication is NECESSARY for most of these illnesses! It is not a weakness, it is not laziness, it is not drug seeking behavior. I was medicated when I was depressed. It helped. I am alive today because of the love of my family and because that medication helped me. Again STOP the judgement just STOP!</div>
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3) Mental illness is not something that you can just wake up and ignore. It's not a BAD MOOD. It's a disease. A switch that isn't connected right in your brain. Stop treating people that have these illnesses like they are having an off day like they lost their job... it's not the case. It's not that simple.</div>
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#4 - At least you ONLY had a miscarriage.... at least you weren't far along... everything happens for a reason - ANY statement WHATSOEVER about losing a child.....period.</h2>
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1) You should never say ANY statement about the loss of a child. No matter when that loss happened. Whether you have endured a loss of some sort too - it doesn't matter. Say I am sorry for your loss. Give a hug. Lend and ear. NEVER compare. </div>
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2) I DO believe that I will meet my 3 babies in Heaven one day. I feel them with me often. My losses were all 14 weeks or earlier in pregnancy. But they were devastating. As any loss is. Don't compare such a tragedy. Ever. <br />
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3) Don't compare infertility with losing a child. Infertility is it's own battle, I know many who have dealt with it. BUT it is not the same as knowing you were pregnant, dreaming of a baby in your arms, and losing that. It is just not. It is illogical.</div>
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4) You never know a battle someone may be fighting.... there is REALLY good chance that you know MANY people who have lost a child. Our society doesn't smile upon sharing our losses. I have always been open with my situation but many don't wish to be that way. SO don't think you know everyone's story.... don't comment on things that could seriously hurt a person. </div>
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You know there are FAR more things I wish people NEVER said. Maybe I will write more someday. Tonight I was deeply deeply hurt because of a situation that a dear friend went through. Something she never should have had to hear. Something I wish I could take out of her brain. I am sending her love and hugs and kindness and many prayers. She is strong and I will always be here! ALWAYS!</div>
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I have dealt with ALL of these issues.</div>
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1) I am fat by societies standards. I would like to weigh less. I have been told by many I am fat. <br />
2) I am a stay at home mom and I DO love having that ability - please don't judge my honesty - I love my children and am blessed to raise them at home. But it is not a piece of cake.<br />
3) I have been through years of depression and survived.<br />
4) I have lost 3 children to miscarriage.</div>
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I was not always as strong a person as I am now. I could still very easily be dragged down a hole from any of these situations. Any of them. At any moment. I hope that I could bring myself out far quicker nowadays. I am beautiful. I am obese by societies standards. I am "JUST" a stay at home mom during the day - but also have a very busy new business. I have struggled with depression and lived to tell the tale (thank you Lord). I have lost three babies to miscarriages and have 2 on Earth with me. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a sister. An aunt. A Granddaughter. A singer. A sensitive person. I am an artist. A friend. <br />
I am many many things. And so are you. </div>
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BE LOVING. BE KIND. KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!<br />
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<3 Much love to you all </div>
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-51559044510682228722015-09-23T14:28:00.002-07:002015-09-23T21:12:32.891-07:00CONFIDENCE<div style="text-align: center;">
CONFIDENCE! We all have the potential to have confidence! You CAN improve it! I promise and I am proof! Love yourselves.</div>
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Check out my video below :)</div>
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(man those freeze frames kill me LOL)</div>
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It's an epidemic in this country. Lack of confidence. Our society really kills our confidence.</div>
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So set a goal. SCREW THE WORLD'S VIEWS! Love yourself. Love others.<br />
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WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!</div>
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Imagine how much better the world would be if we all looked for the BEAUTY in things and didn't judge everything that we saw. Just imagine. It would be great. It all starts somewhere. <br />
Start a revolution of confidence. A pandemic of beauty. An epidemic of PURE AWESOMENESS!</div>
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Do it! Feel free to share my video if you would like - make your own even</div>
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(thought I understand not liking videos - I got over that with my increased confidence - thanks to my Younique tutorials)! Oh and on those crap days have a killer awesome friend to talk to who always makes things better :) <br />
Post some positive quotes sometimes on your FB - SMILE more often at strangers. </div>
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A smile can change a day! </div>
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<3<3<3</div>
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Be beautiful! Own it! Know it! LIVE IT! </div>
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Much love to you all!<br />
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<3 Riley, Peyton, Cameron - love you my sweets - keep watching over us <3</div>
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-24913065470331793402015-09-22T13:26:00.002-07:002015-09-23T21:11:13.491-07:00MOMMY GUILT<div style="text-align: center;">
Just a little blog change up!
VIDEOS! That way I can BLOG but won't keep missing out because of lack of time!
Hope you enjoy :)</div>
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Me with my boys - a daily survivor of mommy guilt ;)</div>
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I got all made up to go to work right AFTER this video ;) </div>
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Another thing - NO MOMMY GUILT about not being all made up all the time! WHO IS?</div>
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I SELL makeup for goodness sake! Most of the time I look like I do in that video ladies!</div>
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This is the REAL WORLD let's start acting that way!<br />
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<3 <3 <3 </div>
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Feel free to comment below :)</div>
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Maybe no ones watching but I still like to let you mommies know - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!</div>
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<3 Riley, Peyton, Cameron,</div>
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We all miss you and love you soo much - give Nana lots of hugs and kisses! </div>
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-71836188646644291222015-02-20T22:00:00.003-08:002015-09-23T14:17:54.614-07:00Autism: Different NOT BROKENMotherhood...whew I am blessed YES blessed beyond measure. Would not change my children for the world. We had been given some worrisome news about our sweet Logan back in October. His Early Intervention teachers think he may be on the Autism Spectrum. As a mom you NEVER wish for your child to have a label. A label that could make his life more difficult at times. It was a hard few days when that label was brought into my mind. Did I love Logan any less? OF COURSE NOT! To be honest some of his "autistic red flags" are some of the things I love SO SO MUCH about him! Those are parts of him. They may not be TYPICAL behavior (I am learning not to say NORMAL as that is an ugly word) but they are beautiful. He is beautiful. His brain is a mystery to me and I LONG to learn ways to help him communicate. To understand his gorgeous lil' mind.<br />
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Of course though at the same time I know Autism will provide struggles. I try to look at that and say well geesh we ALL go through struggles. I have battled severe depression, multiple miscarriages, and so much more. Sadly I may endure more. Is my child having Autism anything like those heartaches? Nope. It is a blip. It does not change who my boy is it just means he needs some help. He will get it. I will assure that. This Mama bear is a FIERCE protector. I will fight to get him EVERY BIT of help he needs. That is my job. <br />
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Isn't he gorgeous? Wow I mean I am biased OBVIOUSLY but dang we made some cute boys! So I think with being a BLM (baby loss mama) there is an added amount of mommy guilt. Is it just me? AM I crazy to think that? I feel like I lost three babies so my 2 boys should have the best life I can give them! I mean any mom wants that for their child....but I don't know some days I just don't feel like I'm ENOUGH. I know I am enough (watch Mom's Night Out if you have never seen it - and thank me later - GREAT FLICK) but man I have my days. Logan was our first baby to make it. We lost his twin to miscarriage and 2 babies before that as well. Riley, Peyton, and Cameron. Logan was the first kiddo we held. Whew what a feeling. SO I know bits about autism that are popular, Lack of showing emotion, eye contact issues, etc. Well Logan has none of those so even with his speech issues, etc. I just never thought Autism. I had NO idea that him being good at playing alone. And not being as much of an attention hogger like Lucas (I never noticed until there was SUCH a difference between them at similar ages). I had no other child to compare to.... so I didn't know there were all these red flags. NO CLUE. I was smart enough to see he was frustrated without the ability to communicate so I DID seek out Early Intervention and he has been having classes since he was 18 months old. They tell me I was proactive and that was the best time he could start getting help. That makes me feel better.<br />
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Don't even get me STARTED on the vaccine debate. My child being vaccinated was NOT what caused him to be Autistic. (I have to approve all comments so don't bother arguing your point. No one will ever see it). But ya know what? The little tid bit I WILL say about that.... EVEN if I believed vaccinations could cause Autism (and I DO NOT believe that) I would still take that chance so that my child did not DIE from some horrible disease. Autism is not a life threatening disease. It is a life long label. But a happy long life can be lived. VACCINATION DEBATE TALK OVER. So sick of it I could just barf.<br />
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With all this being said we have NO IDEA at this point WHERE on the spectrum Logan falls. We will know more at the end of March after his ADOS testing has been completed. Until then we do all we can to help him, to be patient with him, and to love him. As we will always do. He is different not broken. He is atypical not weird. He is fantastic not to be feared. He is loved LOVED loved! I never was a fan of NORMAL and I am all about being DIFFERENT. So bring it on Autism, bring it on. I am ready. We will embrace it, live through it, endure with love and light and happiness.<br />
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On a different note. I applaude my positivity. It amazes me daily. I have NEVER been the most positive person. The clown, the comic, sure. Through sarcasm - you betcha and I don't plan to give that up LOL. But never the cheerleader (even when I WAS one). Never the YOU CAN DO IT type. But oh my the difference 5 months can make. Younique is a direct sales company - yep - a naturally based cosmetics company that sells the freaking best mascara out there. But it is SO MUCH MORE. I have met hundreds of ladies, and men, who have FILLED my days and nights with positivity, with encouragement, with life lessons and wisdom to help me daily AND in my business. We do not COMPETE with each other. We HELP each other. We are their during each other's struggles. We lift each other up. MAN it is powerful! AND I make money doing it. I mean DANG - doesn't get better than that.<br />
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This video is amazing: <br />
<a href="http://www.youniquedivas.com/blog/how-has-your-life-changed">http://www.youniquedivas.com/blog/how-has-your-life-changed</a><br />
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It's a blessing. I am blessed.<br />
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UPDATE: Logan was not on the Autism Spectrum. Still not taking this entry down though - I meant every word. I would be okay if he was Autistic but I am thankful he doesn't have that hurdle to deal with in life. He is my little hero no matter what!<br />
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Riley, Peyton, Cameron: LOVE you sweet babies!<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-83930093069679467912015-01-16T20:18:00.001-08:002015-01-16T20:25:17.438-08:00My how life has changed....<div style="text-align: center;">
So many things have changed since my last post! rainbow #2 was born :) His name is Lucas! He was born 7/13/2014 and he is a joyous blessing! This is a picture from a few days ago when he turned 6 months old! MY HOW TIME FLIES! Life with two kiddos is C R A Z Y ! But I wouldn't change it for the world!</div>
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Right before Lucas was born I FINALLY got my first smart phone! Well THANK GOODNESS I did! Cause let's face it - um - not a WHOLE LOT I can do with a baby napping on me other than read or search online LOL both which can be done from my smart phone! Smart phones need smarter batteries but whatever haha! I LOVE MY PHONE! ;)</div>
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So I am a Facebooker big time! On it all the time - love it - in all honesty it is how I stay connected with life because this mama does NOT leave the house pretty much at all - I am not equipped to handle these two out and about by myself - I mean if I HAD to I could but I don't have to so I don't leave often. Anyways.... One day I was popping around and I see I was added to a Lash group or something. I was like umm okay... ignored it and then every day a new amazing picture was popping up in my newsfeed of before & after pictures of women's eyelashes! I have always liked makeup but never been a HUGE makeup wearer BUT I ALWAYS have wanted amazing eyelashes. Always trying new mascara that is supposed to have amazing results. OF COURSE they always FAIL miserably and disappoint me!! So after 6 days of seeing these pictures I finally take the plunge and buy some...there is a love it guarantee if I don't love it I can return it for a full refund! COOL!</div>
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So I get it a week or so later and try it and WOW I was so impressed!!! These were MY results below! Crazy stinking awesome! SO I posted on my FB timeline and asked if any friends would be interested if I had a party.... at least 10 were SO I was like well I gotta have a party....Then I thought about it - looked at the awesome kit and was like hmmm I wonder what it costs to sell. So I looked. $99 well geesh! I can sell the mascara I get in the kit because I already bought one....that gets me $30 back so yup I'm gonna sell it - worst thing that can happen is I just pay my kit back - break even - have a ton of awesome makeup. So 4 days after getting the mascara I was a presenter! CRAZY AWESOME!</div>
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Even cooler than that? The FB group of ALL the women in my team was AMAZING about helping me learn how to start selling! They are the FASTEST GROWING DIRECT SALES COMPANY EVER!!!!! Want to know why? SOCIAL MEDIA! Most presenters do ALL selling online! So I am a stay at home mom and that is HUGE for me! Every other company out there does in home parties. You CAN do those with Younique but you don't have to... So I have been LOVING it! I have a chance now to EARN A CRUISE TO JAMAICA! Whhhaaattt!? Yup and I am super psyched! Anyone who signs has the possibility to earn the cruise. We have until May 31st! Well so I just NEEDED to share how great this company has been for me - here is a video of the application of the mascara AND another quick one about how it has changed my life in so many ways!!!</div>
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My demo video<br />
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How Younique has changed my life!</div>
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So I LOVE this company I LOVE this decision I made and I can't wait to see where it will take me!</div>
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I have my FB page and page to join my team etc. in the column on the right. Check it out! Please feel free to let me know if you are interested!</div>
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<a href="http://www.fabulashaddict.com/">Get great lashes!</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.youniqueproducts.com/lashaddicts/business/presenterinfo#.VLnS0i6-yPU">Find out more about joining my team!</a></div>
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Riley, Peyton, & Cameron,</div>
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Mommy & Daddy miss you so very much! I think about you every day and I know that you watch over your brothers! Please love each other and give Nana hugs and kisses for me! One day we will all be together but until then I know that you are watching over all of us! I love you sweet babies <3</div>
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-60483420218205065162014-05-15T08:43:00.002-07:002014-05-17T14:16:17.009-07:00The BUSYness of motherhoodI haven't blogged in FOREVER. I am a busy mama nowadays with a very active 2 year old and I am also pregnant with rainbow #2 and in my third trimester so I am more than a little exhausted. LOL<br />
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But I am blessed.<br />
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I feel like a sign with that statement on it placed throughout the house would be helpful some days. As in life without children - you get stressed - well it happens just the same with children. It is a HUGE blessing to be a stay at home mom but sometimes it is rather stressful. It's hard to see our house get all messy because I am enjoying time with my little boy. I feel like I am being a horrible housewife but being a great mommy. Surely that is more important BUT after days of little things piling up in the kitchen it becomes quite an eye sore and then I get stressed. UGH.<br />
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I went to see the movie "Mom's Night Out" last night. I highly recommend it. There is a touching part where the main character says she isn't "good enough" and another character basically says "For you, you mean." THAT really hit me. My little Logan loves me with all his sweet heart (and now my pregnant emotional self is tearing up), and my husband loves me. I think that I just need to love MYSELF a bit more. I think often as mothers WE are our worst enemies. It is hard to LIVE where you "work". I don't mean that to sound like I view my child as a "job" so to speak but if you are a stay at home mom I am sure you get my point.<br />
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When you have a job outside your house and you don't get something done you know that you have to do it when you go back to work. When you are a stay at home mom and taking care of your child(ren) and the house is your job you pass by EVERYTHING that needs to be done ALL THE TIME. It is just plain exhausting and some days it is a bit much for me to handle. There is always something that needs to be done. Maybe it is amplified because I am pregnant and nesting and a bit looney. Who knows. But sometimes it all just overwhelming.<br />
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We finally accomplished a HUGE thing in our house. We turned the front room into a playroom! I have been wanting this for almost 2 years, since we bought this house, and it is DONE. I am thrilled.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LOGAN sees his new playroom! HE LOVES IT</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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So if you take a look at that BEFORE picture. I had time to get about 1/2 of that stuff looked through (maybe more) and either thrown out, or stored at my parents (as we have NO attic AND no basement here so virtually no storage). Well the rest that couldn't be looked through is now in Lucas' room (rainbow #2 who I am currently pregnant with) and his 8 x 10 room is STUFFED with crap. So now of course I am stressing about that getting done. So I will slowly work on it and get it done and then hubby will look through his part and life will carry on. BUT I want it done LOL. Like NOW. If only it were that easy!<br />
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Also, Logan is starting Early Intervention as he is still barely saying any words. He still doesn't even say mama or dada! Basically just Oh, No, and Hiya. So anyways those appointments for speech will start soon I hope. Which adds more to the schedule. HOPEFULLY it will help me keep the house tidy (since people will be in it more LOL) and also help my little love muffin TALK - FINALLY!<br />
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Well, for now that is all. Just a little busy mommyhood talk. If YOU are a mommy, whether stay at home or working out of the home....remember YOU can only do your best. Somedays that is better than others but YOUR child LOVES YOU!<br />
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REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF! And give yourself a whole lot of grace for those days when you feel like your life is a big ole mess. Most likely you are the only one who sees it that way. So love yourself a bit ladies, take even a few moments for yourself and remember JUST BE YOU. You are ENOUGH! <3<br />
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If you are a mother still waiting to have a child.... (((hugs))) to you. The journey is not easy for those of us who have dealt with loss. YOU need to give yourself even more grace and love. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I miss my heavenly babies EVERY day. That does not change but I wish and pray for you that you will one day hold a baby in your arms.<br />
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XOXOXO<br />
~Jess<br />
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Riley, Peyton, & Cameron,<br />
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Mommy misses you. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. You are always in my heart and often I see pictures and wonder how different those pictures would be, how different life would be if you were here with us. I believe God gave us little Logan who's heart has SO much love, so much sweetness (he just came over and hugged me when he saw me tearing up just now) and maybe a large part of that comes from the three of you. When he jabbers on and smiles into thin air in the playroom I often wonder if he sees you Cameron and you are speaking a twin language with him that only you two can understand. When he runs around I wonder if the three of you are there with him and only his sweet little eyes can see you. I think they can. I think he sees you often. And that warms my heart. Please give Nana a huge from me. We miss her dearly as well. I love you sweet babies. ALWAYS <3Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-22412055407330273632013-10-15T13:42:00.001-07:002013-10-15T13:50:26.647-07:00Cup of Kindness...<div style="text-align: center;">
Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day so as we remember our sweet babies I thought it would be a good day to do a post about the need for a bit more kindness....</div>
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Through the past 3 and a half years I have gone through a lot. I have aged a lot. I have learned a lot. Most assuredly I can say that we should view the world differently. Everyone should view their surroundings, their situations, and peoples attitudes differently. EVERYONE is going through SOMETHING. Maybe that is why that guy was a jerk to you in the parking lot. Maybe that lady was snippy with you because her mother just passed away. MAYBE that person is 1 in 4 and they just lost a child.<br />
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YOU NEVER KNOW<br />
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We can't presume to have any idea what those around us are going through. Just because there are people like me who ARE vocal about their loss doesn't mean there aren't thousands (the majority I imagine) who suffer in silence. If you have experienced a loss and have a blog or Facebook account and mention your sweet little ones gone too soon then you are vocal to an extent. BUT I am sure there were many times that you suffered in silence. Whether it be someone asking "is this your first baby" or "do you have any kids" or "isn't it great to have one boy and one girl".... and you choose not to say anything about your angels. We all, I believe, suffer in silence at points.<br />
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So do those around us. So do those we don't know and may never know. I TRY to remember this when someone is snippy with me in line getting groceries or rude when I bump into them by mistake with my purse. I try but I fail sometimes, especially when they are rude while I am driving ;)<br />
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Nonetheless my point is I wish people were less judgmental to mothers like me who have lost their children, but also just to people in general.<br />
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I feel like as a babyloss mom there is extra guilt in parenting. I am probably the one causing that guilt and I am sure ALL mothers have it to an extent. But I feel like Logan is my sweet, precious, cuddly miracle boy and I often think I am not a good enough mom. That I don't do as much as I could because this is all new to me. Then when I DO feel like I am being a good mom my house is a giant pile of stuff everywhere. So if it's not guilt for one thing it's guilt for another.<br />
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Speaking of guilt and judgment..... what is WITH PEOPLE? Why does society believe that being a stay at home mom is a luxury or that it is lazy? WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!? Let me just let you know I am NOT against parents working - I am not against daycare, etc. we ALL do what we have to do. HOWEVER I feel stay at home moms are constantly judged. I would like one of these judgmental idiots to set foot in any mom's house of one child (let alone MORE than that) and then tell me we have LUXURIOUS lives or that we are LAZY! Also you may think well you could use more money, why don't you work? Well - daycare is CRAZY expensive and there is no way I am going to work just to make enough money to pay someone else to watch my son.... nope, not happening. <br />
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If someone ever asked me "What do you DO all day?" I think I may slap them - or at least I would LOOK like I was about to slap them! Being a stay at home mom is not a job, it is a blessing but that doesn't mean it's EASY! For one you NEVER have time off....even during naps because you know what? That's when the dishes, laundry, and all that fun cleaning get done because there's sure no time for that with a toddler running around like a cute little monster! There are very few times I get a break - by break I mean NO errands to run but just enjoying myself seeing a movie or going to dinner. I usually try to get out with my husband once a month but that doesn't always happen. In the last 17 1/2 months I have gone out with a friend(s) maybe 8-10 times. And really that is LUCKY (and I know I am blessed to have those moments) But, then there are those that judge how I spend that little time off. That 5 hours a month when I go out with my husband.<br />
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Why all the judgment. Why do people feel they have a right to judge people? I am a good mom! Am I perfect? No! Is anyone? NO! So unless you TRULY have a reason to judge someone - don't - get off your high horse and realize PEOPLE ARE ALL DIFFERENT! I don't judge those who have daycare or leave their child with a sitter or relative all day long during the week so I don't expect to be judged because I stay at home. Every now and then I leave the house with only SOCKS on Logan's feet (oh the horror) when it's nice out - - when he was younger there was even a time (GASP) I went to the grocery store quick with him in pjs! OH GOOD GOLLY how awful! Do I think there are people who would judge that? YEP! Do I care? I don't want to....but yea if I could tell someone was judging me - I would care. That's the joy of mommy guilt. <br />
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So with all that said - take a minute - WE HAVE ALL JUDGED SOMEONE - and we will ALL do it again even if just for a brief second before we mentally slap ourselves. It will happen. When that time comes take a good look in the mirror, search your heart.....most likely you will realize that judgment was uncalled for - if there were more people taking a breath and THINKING before they say judgmental things or stopping themselves from giving a judgmental glare wouldn't a few people's days be just a bit brighter?<br />
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I think so....<br />
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Here's some pics of me and sweet Logan.... <br />
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“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.<br />
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.<br />
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.<br />
For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.<br />
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. <br />
People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you
will find one at the end of each of your arms.<br />
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/30932.Sam_Levenson">Sam Levenson</a></div>
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Riley, Peyton, & Cameron,<br />
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Mama and Daddy love you SO MUCH! We miss you every day! I know that you watch over your brother....thank you for that <3 I wish I could hug you all. I wish you were here. But, I know that you are happy and living it up with Nana and all your heavenly family. Give all those little babies hugs. Many mamas and daddy's hearts are hurting. Send us all some peace and know that you are loved. I will hold you in my heart forever sweet ones....until we meet in Heaven. ~Love, Your Mama<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-41913449038487505892013-09-05T17:40:00.002-07:002013-09-05T17:46:24.854-07:00Lessons this "Mommy of a toddler" has learned so far....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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(LONG TIME NO POST! Yikes!!! Haha! I have been a busy bee with my Thirty-One business....more about that another time....)<br />
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I have a couple friends (and my sister!) that will have babies within the next 4 months or so! Baby central around here. And then there's crazy lunatics like me starting to wrap their heads around having another one sometime! Haha! I looked back through my posts from when Logan was first born till he was about three months - oh how I dread that the next time around with a toddler to take care of too! YIKES!<br />
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I have learned a lot through raising Mr. Logan the past 16 months or so. Basically the most important thing that I think I can say is ALL CHILDREN ARE DIFFERENT! I have heard many mamas say before that we should just take the books that they make telling you the milestones and what your child should be doing at this month, week, day, etc. and just throw them out! I agree IF those books are making you overly worried. If you can read those milestones and understand that it IS okay if your child is not the same as what the book says then ok fine - but those books should in no way be your Bible for child rearing and what not!<br />
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SO with that said.... differences in children.... Logan got his first tooth at 3 months!!! Very early! He's been growing those suckers non stop ever since. I have a friend who's baby barely had one tooth when she turned ONE! They are ALL DIFFERENT!<br />
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Logan rolled over once each way then NO ROLLING AT ALL until 8 months old or so and then he was literally rolling across the room! He didn't start crawling until after he was one and didn't start walking till her was about 15 1/2 months and he is still a little bit of a drunk walker LOL! BUT this mama KNOWS that her boy is just fine!! He hasn't said a first understandable word yet but he babbles a ton.... and again that is OKAY!<br />
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Anyways my main point here is sometimes you just need to IGNORE what all those other kids out there can do and realize that if something were really wrong YOU would probably instinctively realize it before some random other parent! Same goes for in laws and your parents....just because THEY raised you or your significant other does NOT mean that they know whats best for your child!<br />
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So to any mama out there reading this.... if there are any ;) KEEP YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH! YOU ARE DOING AN AWESOME JOB! We all raise our children the way we see fit and you know what? THAT is great! We need to have unique children not children all raised the exact same way to be the exact same people. God made us unique! The best thing everyone can do is embrace their own individuality AND their children's individuality :) If we were all the same the world would be a boring place!<br />
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With that said LOVE UP those moments with your kiddos and do your best to not feel guilty for taking time for yourself and let the freaking house get messy for goodness sake - because really if it's not hurting anyone WHO CARES :) <br />
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Riley, Peyton, and Cameron,<br />
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We love you sweet babies! Mama and Daddy think of you EVERY day! Watch over your brother and hug your Nana and Aunt Alice <3<br />
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-82239746190573011692013-03-28T12:46:00.000-07:002013-03-28T13:02:30.733-07:00Thirty-One Fun!I am excited that I have officially become a Thirty-One Independent Consultant!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsRxHNtCLgg/UVSax24paFI/AAAAAAAADNs/iqLvDqn4r1Q/s1600/013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dsRxHNtCLgg/UVSax24paFI/AAAAAAAADNs/iqLvDqn4r1Q/s200/013.JPG" width="200" /></a> Thirty-One is a faith based company that are all about Celebrating, encouraging, and rewarding women. Their company name is from Proverbs THIRTY ONE :) I have loved their products for over a year and am very excited to share their items with others and pray that this new venture<br />
takes me wherever God uses it to lead me!<br />
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Thirty-One's Mission: "Thirty-One is more than just a company we are people who believe in celebrating, encouraging, and rewarding women for who they are. Through God's strength we've built a family of individuals who feel women deserve to treat themselves and those around them to something special. Our commitment is to provide women with a fulfilling, enjoyable, and rewarding experience one person at a time"<br />
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My first home party is April 6th and I have a goal to reach $1,000 in sales my first month so that I will be reimbursed for my kit ($99)! ALSO it just happens that my parties fall within an incentive time so I will also gain a free summer kit with new products to show at parties :)<br />
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Here are some items I have created (you know the artist in me HAD to create items for my table!) to help advertise at parties :) <br />
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The first three photos are a wooden bag I purchased for $1 at Michael's and painted it to hold pens for my parties :)</div>
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Te next two photos are my "Book a Party, Pick a Prize" board :) </div>
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(the board was $7 at Dollar General - I added the blue ribbon and bling and made the envelopes, tag, and the Heart was purchased at Michael's for $1 and painted)</div>
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This is a frame I purchased at Michael's for $1 and painted with a modified version of the Island Damazk print. I also added all the bling! Currently it has the hostess rewards in it and the hostess exclusives on the back - it is being held by a huge pink clothes pin that I purchased at Micahel's for $3 and painted the thirty one logo on it!</div>
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My box full of my kit AND many items I already had!</div>
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CLIPBOARDS!!! I bought them for $1.99 each at Office Max. I blinged up the metal part and I added scrap book paper to each. Then I added the words and outlined them with pink zebra print washi tape :) </div>
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SUPER EXCITED to have my first party! I will make sure to take pictures of my table at the party!!</div>
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Join me in my Facebook Group and be asked to be invited to it! It is SPECIAL for my Thirty-One Customers. Soon I will be offering contests, etc. for members of the group!!</div>
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Customizable, Fun Organization with Jessica Malloy:</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/532816473429442/">https://www.facebook.com/groups/532816473429442/</a></div>
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And NO post is complete without a pic of my cutie rainbow baby Logan! Can you believe he is 11 months tomorrow! I know I can't! WOW!</div>
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SO SWEET! <3</div>
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-90414681482341134742012-11-23T19:10:00.005-08:002012-11-23T19:12:25.444-08:00ConfessionsSo a blogger I just love did a post like this and it had me thinking.... so here are some of my confessions maybe sometime I'll make a part 2, etc. Thank you for the inspiration Angela :)<br />
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Sometimes I feel like a lazy parent. I play with my son, I love him, we giggle, he is happy and has met important milestones but I always feel there is more I should be doing and that I will have more experience if/when we have more children and that poor Logan gets the short end of the stick.<br />
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I feel like I have totally screwed his sleep up. His last bedtime is between 1-3 am right now though he does sleep 6-9 hours once he's asleep. He also ALWAYS falls asleep on one of us. I feel like my overprotective cuddling and constant worrying has made it hard for him to sleep :( but my mom says I was the same and it got better so that gives me hope!<br />
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The first 4 months Logan was with us I seriously didn't know if I could handle having more children. Luckily things improved! I love him so much and would go through those hellish 3 months again if I had too! But WOW were they hard.<br />
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I would NEVER have chosen to lose any of my babies but I don't know if I could have handled twins. That makes me sad. Though I know I would have risen to the challenge has Cameron also been born!<br />
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Speaking of messed up sleep I am TERRIFIED to put Logan in his own crib. So terrified.<br />
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TMI confession - sometimes I don't shower for a couple days in a row. I kept forgetting to put deoderant on so I had to start carrying it in my purse.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder if it is selfish for me to stay at home.<br />
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Nothing makes me happier than holding Logan. He smiles now all the time and I love that he reaches up and touches my face. I feel every day like I could not love him more....but every day I do.<br />
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I wish that my Nana would have gotten to meet him. I dream of her all the time. I worry that I won't properly include her and Riley, Peyton, and Cameron into Logan's life.<br />
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Every day I feel like I have done something wrong but I know he is happy and that makes me realize all will be okay.<br />
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I often want to scream at people who seem ungrateful for their children and I hate when people call their living children angels.<br />
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Sadly I don't have many close friends or any that I see on a very regular basis I often feel BLMs know me better then many friends I have in real life. I wish we all lived near each other!<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-11147963134420232192012-11-08T13:58:00.002-08:002012-11-08T20:15:49.122-08:00Comedy night routineSoooo last night (and many nights sometimes) I feel like I am in a Rom/Com scene of some movie about a couple with a baby.<br />
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Now were this to be in a movie I would laugh. Is it funny when it happens to me? Ummm NO!<br />
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SOooo poor little Logan is teething :( boo for us but obviously OUCH for him - poor dude. Nonetheless it has SERIOUSLY screwed his sleeping up! LIKE WHOA! His last bedtime (his long stretch of 5-8 hours depending on the night) is anywhere from 1am to 3am lately. So that sucks - nuff said.<br />
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Last night little one was FULL of energy at like 2am I was all like Logan it's sleepy time and he was like HEHEHEHE giggle giggle bouncing on my lap and kicking away. He wasn't having it LOL! So my husband had just gotten home at like 1am (he works 2nd shift of 4pm to midnight) and he headed to bed leaving me with my LITERALLY bouncing bundle of joy!<br />
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Finally around 3am the little dear zonked out after having a 4 oz. bottle. So I take him upstairs at like 3:30am making sure he's FAST ASLEEP. I go to lay him in the Rock n Play in our room and I can't figure out WHAT THAT SOUND IS! I lay him down and realize it is my husband. SNORING! Ugh! Soooooooo LOUD! Not cool cause ummm I'm tired! So I go to the bathroom come back and nudge him (which is like trying to wake a hibernating bear!) and he finally looks at me with huge not happy eyes:<br />
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Nate: WHAT?<br />
Me: You are SNORING you have to turn on your side<br />
Nate: Yea yea ok<br />
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he starts to sleep again STILL on his back and starts snoring again<br />
***I nudge the hibernating bear AGAIN***<br />
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Me: Babe I NEED to sleep it is 4am please turn on your side!<br />
Nate: WHAT?<br />
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(he's deaf when he wakes up I SWEAR - it's ridiculous! I wear ear plugs and I hear better then him!)<br />
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Me: I have told you already you NEED to sleep on your side or I will NEVER sleep! People can hear your snore in CHINA! <br />
Nate: *gets out of bed* I have no memory of you telling me this...<br />
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he goes to the bathroom and come back in bed and lays on his back AGAIN - at this point I want to smack him! I poke him lightly<br />
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Nate: WHAT? You scared the crap out of me!<br />
Me: I barely touched you ya lunatic I told you to sleep on your side you're snoring!<br />
Nate: *rolls his eyes* fine!<br />
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he rolls on his side - not even 5 minutes later STILL SNORING (this doesn't happen often - usually only when he's sick so I hope THAT isn't happening) I nudge him...<br />
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Me: You are still snoring does one of us need to go down on the couch?<br />
Nate: *mumbles* No *starts snoring again*<br />
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I tried to nudge him to get him to go downstairs - no dice.<br />
So I was like whatever and I left. I go back upstairs at 9:30am with a SERIOUSLY sore back and:<br />
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Nate: What happened?<br />
Me: I pretty much got no sleep because you couldn't stop snoring and you IGNORED me and wouldn't go downstairs so now my back is all messed up again AND I need more sleep!<br />
Nate: Oh.<br />
Me: I pretty much wanted to strangle you last night - just so you know.<br />
Nate: Oh wow!<br />
Me: I am going to sleep till like noon so leftovers for lunch!<br />
Nate: OK.<br />
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he takes Logan downstairs. UGH my rom/com moment was SO not cool!<br />
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Ever had a similar situation?<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hlZtBxuLWZ8/UJwq-Hm7t0I/AAAAAAAADL8/2ZfKEBOilXw/s1600/2013-01-04+12.18.04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hlZtBxuLWZ8/UJwq-Hm7t0I/AAAAAAAADL8/2ZfKEBOilXw/s320/2013-01-04+12.18.04.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this was not taken last night LOL but on a night where I got MUCH more sleep ;)</td></tr>
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-45743057334237882722012-11-07T09:02:00.001-08:002012-11-07T10:34:52.061-08:00Holiday Ornament ExchangeThe <a href="http://www.rememberingtogetherswap.blogspot.com/">Remembering Swaps</a> Ornament exchange is up and running again this year. We are sorry that the notice is short but you don't have much time to sign up so head on over and get a move on :) It is always a healing moment to receive an ornament for your child and to see their name - at least it is for me!'<br />
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-17277147343850177972012-10-31T21:04:00.000-07:002012-10-31T21:06:22.181-07:00Happy Halloween!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wZ76hhsvaS8/UJH1EE8wGVI/AAAAAAAADLU/sGXQDgj-Fbc/s1600/HALLOWEEN.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wZ76hhsvaS8/UJH1EE8wGVI/AAAAAAAADLU/sGXQDgj-Fbc/s400/HALLOWEEN.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Logan was just too darn cute for one costume!! Sorry for the lack of blogging - I'd promise I'll get better but I probably won't....I'll do the best I can :)</span>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-60922943193852410932012-10-04T14:17:00.001-07:002012-10-26T21:34:11.014-07:00Capture your grief....<div style="text-align: center;">
I have decided to TRY to participate in <a href="http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/2012/09/capture-your-grief-this-october-2012-for-pregnancy-infant-loss-awareness-month.html">CarlyMarie Project Heal/ Capture Your Grief</a>.</div>
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I say "try" because I will do the best I can but as I am sure all my regular readers know that I have not been great about updating my blog since having my precious rainbow baby Logan. So with that said I will do my best to participate with the photos when I can.</div>
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First Day 1 is sunrise - I'm not gonna lie I think I have seen VERY few sunrises in my life - I am not a morning person! Soooo I'll skip that one.</div>
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Day 2: Before Loss Self Portait</div>
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This is a photo that I used for my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope story. This was before my husband and I were married.</div>
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Day 3: After Loss Self Portrait</div>
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Me at the Walk to Remember in 2010 after the loss of Riley (2/11/10) and Peyton (8/19/10) </div>
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Day 4: Treasured Item</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NXlAQhN8yCw/TI-28jhZOiI/AAAAAAAAAa8/Z2KNbYq-dWw/s1600/002+%2528Medium%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NXlAQhN8yCw/TI-28jhZOiI/AAAAAAAAAa8/Z2KNbYq-dWw/s320/002+%2528Medium%2529.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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This was created by Dana of <a href="http://www.themidnightorange.com/">The Midnight Orange</a> - she makes beautiful memorial pieces and other lovely art. I cherish this item that was made for Riley and Peyton - I also have a necklace I love with ALL my children's names on it!</div>
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More to come when I have time <3<br />
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EDIT: 10/26/12 - I got overwhelmed this month and just didn't have the strength to go through all the rest of the month now so I apologize but I will not be finishing the rest.... </div>
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Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-28511022834078577532012-09-04T14:08:00.002-07:002012-09-04T14:08:51.425-07:00The love of our lives....<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">I just wanted to write quick and say I am sorry for my lack of updates. I can't TELL you how many times I WANT to write.....but life is crazy - with a 4 month old and packing to move to the new house things are rough. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Here's a few pictures.....</span></div>
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HAPPY 4 MONTHS!</div>
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TRYING TO ROLL OVER!</div>
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BIG SMILES!</div>
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TIME WITH MOMMY!</div>
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HOPEFULLY I WILL BE ABLE TO UPDATE MORE SOON ! :)</div>
Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-58141118136011224792012-08-04T09:36:00.001-07:002012-08-04T09:37:01.681-07:00So big SO fast....Some days I look at Logan and I swear he looks different then he did an hour or two before hand. Like he went to sleep and woke up bigger... it's crazy....<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Oh how I love my boy!!!</span></b></div>
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Riley, Peyton, & Cameron, </div>
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Mommy and daddy love you so much. It's sad that we don't get to see you grow up but we know that you are taking care of each other and that Nana is loving having grandchildren to love up in Heaven. Tell her that mommy misses her very much and so does grandma. We will always love you sweet babies...watch over us :)</div>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-41640500017795188642012-07-30T01:03:00.000-07:002012-07-30T01:11:06.183-07:00Cheers & Jeers returns<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3XGOhBUlNm4/TNYhK17YAcI/AAAAAAAABIQ/7QEog59F6QE/s1600/cheersandjeers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3XGOhBUlNm4/TNYhK17YAcI/AAAAAAAABIQ/7QEog59F6QE/s320/cheersandjeers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>This is usually a mindless post for me to post my opinions on celebrity gossip and such but I must say that 2 very serious JEERS were what made me want to return to Cheers and Jeers today....</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CHEERS</b></span> to Robin Roberts for her <a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20615543,00.html">open battle</a> with
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myelodysplastic_syndrome">MDS</a>. My Nana died from this horrible disease and I pray all the best
for Ms. Roberts as she battles this herself. I know how hard it was
for my Nana to handle and I cannot imagine going through such a
disease in the public eye. I find it incredibly strong of her to be open about her disease and I cannot imagine what it would be like to battle cancer in the first place let alone in the public eye. I applaud her courage and pray her battle through this awful disease has a happy ending.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JEERS</b></span> to comedians(and I am SURE there are more than just these two for making light of extremely serious events. Tosh.0 recently apologized for a rape joke but apparently his dead baby joke is still funny to him as it is on his site! In this joke they show a realistic baby cake being cut into (which i admit IS weird) while he makes 20 seconds worth of miscarriage, dead baby, and abortion jokes.... then jokes about celebrating a co-workers abortion with horrific 'dead fetus' cupcakes. <a href="http://tosh.comedycentral.com/video-clips/20-seconds-on-the-clock---dead-baby-cake">HERE</a> is the video - it IS disturbing!</div>
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Dane Cook also made a stupid dead baby
joke that I recently watched. Something about swearing on his unborn
child that he didn't eat his friend's ice cream and then went on to
say that in the future if he has a child and something happens and
this child dies that his friend will think he ate his ice cream and
he would call him up and say no dude that was a fluke I swear on my
NEXT unborn child. He recently <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/27/dane-cook-apologizes-for-massacre-joke-bad-judgment-call/">apologized</a> for joking about the Colorado theater massacre (no dead baby joke apology that i could find)....FREAKING MORON that crap is NOT funny! WTH is
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<b style="font-size: x-large;">CHEERS </b>to Katie Holmes for what seems to be her motherly instinct to protect her daughter from the Scientologists. I am not one to judge other religious beliefs but the research out there shows it to be a very scary and controlling religion. I am not condoning divorce just saying cheers to her for protecting her daughter!</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JEERS</b></span> to the woman who BLOGGED about her abortion - pics and all....Seriously? NO ONE wants to see your
abortion in a jar and that fact that this woman decided to blog about
her abortion in NO way is heroic. Honestly it's just sickening. My
friend posted about this on Facebook and I believe she is pro-choice
so she probably thought this was great because it “proved” that
there is no “LIFE” at 6 weeks. Well I beg to differ THANK YOU
VERY MUCH! I saw my child's HEARTBEAT at 6 weeks! Don't tell me
there's no life then. If you choose to do the appalling act of
abortion (sorry if you are pro-choice – I am not and this is my
blog so I can state my opinions I do not wish to debate them with you
and will not post stupid comments that people make in regards to this
so don't bother) then DEAL with the fact that you killed a child
don't write a freaking blog to make yourself feel better – SO
STUPID – and INCREDIBLY disrespectful to your child's life and to
every person out there who has lost a child. ADOPTION PEOPLE –
ADOPTION! Ugh – that is all I will say.... <a href="http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/140219/woman_blogs_her_abortion_so">THIS</a> is the article which links to the blog post which IS disturbing!</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CHEERS</b></span> to Matthew McConnaughey for finally getting hitched! According to <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/gossip/la-et-mg-matthew-mcconaughey-camila-alves-pregnant-third-baby-20120705,0,284856.story">THIS</a> article they are going to have a 3rd child too - CONGRATS! They are one beautiful family :)</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THANKS FOR JOINING ME FOR CHEERS AND JEERS!</b></span></div>
<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-55551938400643818632012-07-25T18:26:00.000-07:002013-09-05T11:53:05.510-07:00Life as I now know it....loving every minute!Things have improved greatly in the past month to say the very least. My rainbow has developed into quite the little sweetheart and is already showing so much personality! He began to sleep much better at the beginning of July which was certainly a blessing.<br />
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We wish that we could have Logan start sleeping in his own room but we can't run an air conditioner in both rooms so it would be far too hot - which is not safe for our little one - so he still sleeps in our room in his Rock N Play. I hope that when we can transition him to his own space he will do well. Given the coming changes in our life it's probably better to not move him now - he'll have a whole new HOUSE to get used to soon :) :) :)<br />
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THAT'S RIGHT! We bought a house (those who are friends with me on Facebook SHHHH don't say anything on my wall please!) :) No exact closing date yet but in the next couple months we will be out of this apartment and into our OWN HOUSE! I am so THRILLED to be done renting soon! The fact that it barely costs more for the mortgage then it does to rent is also a HUGE bonus :)<br />
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Soooo the surprises of mommyhood - my my there are so many!<br />
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I think the biggest one is the lack of sleep - "they" tell you to sleep while you can - blah blah blah as if getting tons beforehand will help you when you get none - not the case! I must say it would have been IMPOSSIBLE for me to prepare myself for what my body went through with all the hormone changes after having Logan let alone the added stress of NO sleep! It was a surprise and a crappy one at that. But as everyone (who at the time I wanted to slap - LOL) told me - it does get better. The 3 weeks or so have been a blissful time - sure there have been moments - but for the most part we are in a nice groove around here and mommy is loving it.<br />
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Logan has so many more smiles and is just such a character!! Another surprise is how FAST his personality showed up - just so darn cute! Makes every little second worth it. I could be in the WORST most sleep deprived state and when he looks at me with that genuine smile it just brightens my LIFE! I'm so blessed!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Doesn't that smile just make you melt!!!</td></tr>
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So far I must say he is not to the age where I feel like I can get a whole lot accomplished AT ALL! I mean - no complaints - I LOVE hanging with the little dude but I am rather terrified of packing!!! Yikes! I hated it before I had Logan to take care of - it could be rather dreadful! Thank goodness for GREAT grandparents because man are we gonna need their help to get things done around here!!<br />
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I turned 31 on the 22nd of July and my boy turned 12 weeks :) Technically he will be 3 months old on the 29th! He's growing SO FAST!!!<br />
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Well I know there was more to say LOL but baby brain is ever present and my mind has no flipping clue what else I was going to write - sooooo for now enjoy this you tube video and check out my boy's personality in full swing :)<br />
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Riley, Peyton, & Cameron,
Mommy and daddy love you so much. As we see Logan grow we are sad for all the moments we missed with the three of you :( Love each other with all your might until we can all be together Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-53759360117416153762012-07-18T14:25:00.003-07:002012-07-18T14:48:49.819-07:00Butterfly Angel Memorial Art<div style="text-align: center;">
I have been thinking of creating this memorial art for months and finally had a spare moment to do a couple. I have created a listing in my Etsy shop for those who may be interested: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/104713750/memorial-butterfly-angel-fully-custom">https://www.etsy.com/listing/104713750/memorial-butterfly-angel-fully-custom</a> </div>
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There are 6 butterfly wing colors and the "angel" can be painted in any way you like :) Name and/or date can be added also :) </div>
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WHAT DO YOU THINK????</b>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4r-dq9D-8dM/UAcgnpesOWI/AAAAAAAADHs/ZSkUq9c4FrM/s1600/023.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4r-dq9D-8dM/UAcgnpesOWI/AAAAAAAADHs/ZSkUq9c4FrM/s200/023.JPG" width="200" /></a>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-33741495746765581952012-07-14T14:11:00.001-07:002012-07-31T19:21:39.820-07:00My MUST have baby itemsWell this is a popular blog among moms out there so I figured I could join in, I mean why not right? ;)<br />
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Here is my list of items I can't imagine not having for baby Logan :)<br />
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***I am in no way being paid by any of these companies (I wish I was LOL) these are just my personal choices of must haves that I can't imagine not having!***<br />
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1.) <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=221071904512#ht_500wt_1156">Fisher Price Discover 'n Grow Kick and Play Piano</a> (say THAT 10 times fast LOL)<br />
This is an awesome item for Logan he literally loved every minute of kicking and playing on this thing for hours over the last couple of days alone! He LOVES it! I'm not a sports fan but this has me thinking he may be a soccer player LOL ;)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can check out one of my recent posts for a video of Logan playing on the piano mat! </td></tr>
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2.) <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=221071904512#ht_500wt_1156">Fisher Price Newborn Rock N Play Sleeper</a> (I SWEAR I am not working for Fisher Price LOL)<br />
This is what Logan sleeps in PERIOD! If he's not sleeping on a human he's sleeping in this LOL. It was a necessity given his reflux issues and will be his sleeping area for awhile still - at least a couple months. We have the neutral version that could work for either gender :)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SO adorable I know ;) </td></tr>
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3.) Diaper Bag: <a href="http://www.shespeaks.com/Thirty-One-Gifts-Organizing-Utility-Tote-Review">Thirty One Gifts Organizing Utility Tote</a> (the link takes you to a "review" of the item)<br />
I LOVE me some Thirty One items and this bag ROCKS for a diaper bag! Lots of outer pockets and plenty of space in the center. Durable handles - trust me I put a lot of stuff in that diaper bag it gets HEAVY! I picked a cute bold floral pattern (kinda girly but hey I'm a girl!) but it is blue and green colors - I don't think Logan cares LOL<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this is the fabric I have and the same bag but mine has different personalization on it</td></tr>
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4.) <a href="http://www.mobywrap.com/">MOBY</a> - I love, love, love it! Now I personally MADE mine but it's still the same idea :)<br />
Logan is a huge fan of the Moby :) To make mine all I did was get 5 yards (although I'm not a small girl so 5 1/2 yards would have been better) of 100% cotton fabric (the real Moby is made with cotton jersey I believe) and then I cut the width to 24 inches and hemmed all the edges. I also placed a little tag marker directly in the center of the piece of fabric - as the real Moby has that too to help with wrapping. I used <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viKhBq-T5cI">this</a> video to learn how to use it :)<br />
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EDIT**** we have now (7/31/12) also come to love the Beco Butterfly 2 baby carrier - it is a bit easier and quicker to put on and easier to feel secure now that Logan is over 12 lbs. and getting bigger by the hour it seems LOL here is a picture :O)<br />
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5.) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Graco-Sweet-Slumber-Sound-Machine/dp/B001GQ2P78">Graco Sweet Slumber Sound Machine</a> (with light)<br />
This thing is fabulous! It has a light that you can push on at the top - which has been great if Logan makes noise in the middle of the night I can see if he's okay - I used to sleep with the light on but now I push it on if I have to check on him (he's still in our room sleeping in the Rock N Play). It make a variety of sounds we keep it on a white noise one that resembles a fan sound. You can also play lullabies that are on there or connect your ipod to it. Cool stuff! Also helpful to mommy who can't sleep when there's no power (as I ALWAYS have a fan on) so there's batteries in there in case the power goes out too (we used it once a few months before Logan was born when the power went out LOL)<br />
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6.) NUK binkie - literally ALL Logan will use!<br />
Hilariously enough he REALLY seems to LOVE the frog one he has - it came in a pack of 2 but the other one that is JUST like it he spits out LOL - too weird - also odd since I LOVE frogs LOL ;) They are marked 6 months+ but seriously the kid will use NOTHING else - and they ARE supposed to be the best orthopedically or however you spell it ;)<br />
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7.) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Trend-Diaper-Champ-Deluxe/dp/B002IWYXH4/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1342298695&sr=1-1&keywords=diaper+champ">Diaper Champ</a> (we have have an older version then this link shows but same idea)<br />
This is a GREAT item! You don't need SPECIAL bags for it so we can use our normal garbage bags which is GREAT! With how many diapers this kid goes through this is a MUST HAVE for sure! Also it is really useful in keeping the smelliness contained so you don't have to take the garbage out every single day - especially nice given we live in a 2nd floor apartment. Anyways I can't say enough about how much the Diaper Champ rocks :)<br />
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8.) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dr-Browns-Pack-Polypropylene-Bottle/dp/B0018JWAF0/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1342298945&sr=1-1&keywords=dr.+brown%27s+bottles">Dr. Brown's Bottles</a> & <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Philips-AVENT-Microwave-Steam-Sterilizer/dp/B001C3KXPG/ref=sr_1_3?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1342299071&sr=1-3&keywords=avent+bottle+steamer">Bottle Steamer</a><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">They DO have extra parts but I really believe that these bottles have been very helpful with not making Logan's gas issues worse :) The vent and straw which are the EXTRA parts help keep the air from getting into the nipple - at least that's what it says LOL. I only bought 8 oz. bottles - I don't see the point of the smaller ones - you'll only need them for so long anyways the bottles are MARKED with ounces so you can fill it with as little or as much as 8 oz. I bought a steamer from someone for $5 the link goes to the one that closely resembles it (and the maker is Avent). Until we have a dish washer it is FAR easier than boiling the bottles! </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">9.) Rompers & Sleepers that ZIP up!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I LOVE one piece rompers! They are amazing! So easy and just - well - great - especially when it coems to changing diapers - just unbutton the bottom and BOOM change the diaper! ALSO I love onesies and snap all the way up because I am SURE I am not the only mom with a baby who does NOT like clothes pulled over his head (I hate buttoning them BUT I hate a sad crying baby more)! Sleepers that zip - same thing - diaper changing is easy and the ease of use is FAR better then all those dumb buttons (which are even HARDER to button when you are half asleep for middle of the night feedings)! </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">zip up sleeper (and the beloved piano mat again)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ROMPER!!! </td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: white;">10.) Cloth diapers for burp cloths (from Wally Mart)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Ok so burp cloths they sell at stores - ya know the cute ones? Yea they SUCK! Or I should say they DON'T suck because they literally don't suck up ANY spit up! I mean honestly my SHIRT might as well be the burp cloth because those cloths are good for nothing but being cute - which is therefore USELESS! Sooooo I use tri fold cloth diapers that I got in a pack or 10 or 12 from Wally Mart for like $10 I think! They are GREAT and have saved many a shirt :)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">11.) <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Cradle-Swing-Little-Snugabunny/dp/B0042D69WY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342299812&sr=8-1&keywords=snugglebunny+swing">Fisher Price Cradle 'N Swing</a></span><br />
Love this swing - first of all it is freaking CUTE and gives your baby little bunny ears when he/she is in it and secondly Logan loves it :) Other than the piano mat it is all I have that entertains him right now! It is GREAT because it can swing side to side OR front to back! AWESOME! Also the cute mobile moves around which Logan loves to watch - and there is a mirrored part that keeps his attention. There is also music and nature sounds available - though as another blogger mommy mentioned - the music does turn off after awhile which could wake some babies up and the mobile stops turning too!<br />
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Few other little things - gas drops (LOVE them), a carseat with a triangle handle (I find it MUCH easier to hold) that fits into a stroller - and a mirror for the car so I can see Logan while I am driving (I need one with a LIGHT though so I can see him at night!)<br />
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Edit**** (7/31/12) Logan LOVES baths and I recently got a little sort of chair insert for his infant tub! It is PERFECT because supporting his head while he kicks away and has a good time is NOT EASY so this has been a life saver :) <a href="http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12268558">THIS</a> is the exact product we bought.<br />
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HOPE YOU ENJOYED! </div>
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Riley, Peyton, Cameron,</div>
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Mommy and daddy love you and miss you SO much! We will tell Logan all about you! Riley & Peyton please hug and kiss Nana extra tight tomorrow and tell her how much you have loved her being with you for the past year and Cameron make sure to tell her how happy you are she was there with open arms waiting for you when you went home to Heaven. We miss you ALL so much! Hug and kiss Nana for me and hug and kiss each other from me and daddy and Logan! We love you, love you, LOVE YOU!!!!</div>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-49655274066176525112012-07-07T21:21:00.001-07:002012-07-07T21:21:53.383-07:00Growing boy!I realized after my last post that I never posted Logan's ONE month picture - so here they are to compare - along with some other recent photos.... I have things to talk about but I am too dang tired right now to do so ;) LOL and with the boy laying on me it would be too annoying to type much ;)<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ND1VUFlRQXE/T_kJ5WNNdKI/AAAAAAAADEo/JT_4nll35MY/s1600/048.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ND1VUFlRQXE/T_kJ5WNNdKI/AAAAAAAADEo/JT_4nll35MY/s320/048.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ONE MONTH</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kibHJn8CrcE/T_kJ9ewMbVI/AAAAAAAADEw/fGXC0pVp8a4/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kibHJn8CrcE/T_kJ9ewMbVI/AAAAAAAADEw/fGXC0pVp8a4/s400/007.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TWO MONTHS</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eGpa2Q7EHRc/T_kKBatASRI/AAAAAAAADE4/wfHHEdGKP5g/s1600/002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eGpa2Q7EHRc/T_kKBatASRI/AAAAAAAADE4/wfHHEdGKP5g/s320/002.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">check out my gun ;)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J3--uwXwJGs/T_kKFtuWwlI/AAAAAAAADFA/Dco89Bqk1CQ/s1600/012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J3--uwXwJGs/T_kKFtuWwlI/AAAAAAAADFA/Dco89Bqk1CQ/s320/012.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sleepy sprawler</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4vB5yplDh_k/T_kKIFTHuGI/AAAAAAAADFI/uJyZNNow0bE/s1600/018.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4vB5yplDh_k/T_kKIFTHuGI/AAAAAAAADFI/uJyZNNow0bE/s320/018.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">he loves grandpas beanbag (don't worry a wide awake adult is ALWAYS right next to him)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J22j5fVqIQ4/T_kKMC1jvvI/AAAAAAAADFQ/s1lUNhtwafc/s1600/027.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J22j5fVqIQ4/T_kKMC1jvvI/AAAAAAAADFQ/s1lUNhtwafc/s320/027.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">he is now obsessed with his tongue</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FKA88XiqCVs/T_kKOiatYzI/AAAAAAAADFY/iwtaED6_RxQ/s1600/034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-FKA88XiqCVs/T_kKOiatYzI/AAAAAAAADFY/iwtaED6_RxQ/s320/034.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">TOYS!!</td></tr>
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Oh my how I love my boy!!!!!!!!</div>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-16553625682204036032012-07-04T14:21:00.000-07:002012-07-04T14:22:48.220-07:002 months!My boy turned 2 months old last Friday :)
He's so flippin' handsome! He got some vaccines on Monday :( UGH! Mommy did NOT handle that well...Logan did much better lol though he is NOT a baby that sleeps more after vaccines - yikes! Seriously when a baby is born you should lose all need for sleep!! Wouldn't that be great!?! Soooooo not the case however :( Eh life is still great! My mom and dad leave for camping for a week om Saturday and I am dreading the boredom that is bound to come while they are gone. With Nate working at night and (sadly) really no friends to hang out with life can be lonely around here. In this small town area there is not much to do either.... i digress... i love to hang with my boy but i think you all understand what i mean...i hope!
A lot of changes are on the forefront... more to come about that in the near future :) All good things (and no - oh my goodness - i am not pregnant again!)
ENJOY THE PICTURES!
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CrbMATmVhj8/T_SwuUOxdqI/AAAAAAAADEE/N8YtO_ILpjU/s1600/007.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CrbMATmVhj8/T_SwuUOxdqI/AAAAAAAADEE/N8YtO_ILpjU/s400/007.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SO BIG!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YMtLc9Aker4/T_SwuuPl-rI/AAAAAAAADEQ/XUFeib8xPRg/s1600/009.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YMtLc9Aker4/T_SwuuPl-rI/AAAAAAAADEQ/XUFeib8xPRg/s400/009.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MOMMY & LOGAN!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p43Av9gTgq8/T_SwvP2c6HI/AAAAAAAADEc/OTK7WwQZ5sM/s1600/011.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p43Av9gTgq8/T_SwvP2c6HI/AAAAAAAADEc/OTK7WwQZ5sM/s400/011.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DADDY & LOGAN!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-28789947502921349282012-06-27T13:33:00.000-07:002012-06-27T13:41:43.645-07:00Baby LoveNot much time to post today (as usual)... my boy keeps me busy and when he doesn't I have to do boring crap like clean bottles and do dishes (BOO!)
HOWEVER I am sure these super cute videos will make up for my lack of words :) ENJOY!
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f8HBES20EHQ" width="420"></iframe>
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/buG92UWmBcU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-77438679379633676972012-06-18T02:04:00.001-07:002012-06-18T02:04:16.388-07:00ConundrumI'm so sick of myself - I'm such a conundrum - my life is just one big freaking conundrum. A nonsensical ride through parenthood. I'm blessed to have Logan but also just so done with being tired. I<br />
am happy my husband works nights but then also pissed he works nights because I get no help if Logan doesn't sleep in his bed at night. I am in love with my son beyond all measure but so mad that he sleeps better during the day then at night lately and I want to throw a little 1 year old temper tantrum right this very second. I love my husband for being a fabulous daddy and helping far more then many fathers probably do but I get frustrated because he certainly doesn't "get" the lack of sleep and energy that I have put into the last 7+ weeks.<br />
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If one more person IRL gives me advice and says "it'll get better any day now" or "I remember those days" I'm going to scream! I'm going to literally rip my hair out, throw my hair in their face, and then scream at the top of my lungs for them to SHUT UP! Give me some USEFUL advice because telling me it will "get better any day now" doesn't do crap for me - literally it is the equivalent of saying - "yep it sucks huh?" at least saying THAT would be a statement and not a piece of "advice"shrouded in complete crap.<br />
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As I write this I don't blame you if you hate me right now. I don't blame you if you think - "WOW what a horrible ungrateful mother she is!" I really don't blame you! I deserve those thoughts and honestly I think that of myself at least one to one trillion times a day. You know what I'd love? I'd love to sleep.... even more than that though I would love to not feel a whole heap of guilt for <strike>wanting </strike> needing to sleep. Lately Logan will barely sleep solidly unless he is sleeping ON someone's chest. Sure, of course, you say - lay him down - he'll scream but he'll stop sooner or later - blah blah blah. Yea, ok, SURE take a guilt ridden mother and tell her to let her child scream for hours.... no thank you. Remember two posts ago? The kid screamed off and on (more ON then off) for practically 6 hours straight.... so please tell me what good will laying him down and letting him scream really do for me? Exactly - it will do nothing!<br />
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So please - if you read this and you have kids - tell me a moment when YOU were at your wits end! Tell me how you handled it.... if you dealt with this sleep issue what did you do? I promise not to complain about your advice in future posts I REALLY do want it! For extra credit tell me how one earth I am supposed to survive on 4 hours of sleep for the rest of my life....or until the magical day when "things turn around" (whatever THAT means)....<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5951718174491665154.post-45733622164172389682012-06-16T05:08:00.001-07:002012-06-16T05:08:59.614-07:00Well laid plans....My husband and I just had our 4 year anniversary on June 14th and as I mentioned in the previous post we had plans to celebrate the following day. Well, life doesn't work how you think sometimes and sadly my mom ended up being very sick. We think with food poisoning. Although I was disappointed that our plans would be cancelled I was extremely worried about my mom! She, being the lovely person that she is, was so worried that I would be sick or Logan would be sick - because she was just over here hours before being sick. I told her there was no need to be worried because I was sure Logan would have shown signs of being sick already and I was feeling just fine (other than my normal exhaustion and somewhat nauseousness because of it - but that has become rather normal).<br />
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So given the change in plans and after being up all night with Logan who lately will not sleep unless laying on me or my hubby..... I decided I would take advantage of the time and get an extra hour of sleep. I woke Nate up, told him of the change in plans and said I was going to bed for a few hours. When I woke up, of course, I was still exhausted (when am I NOT?) but happy to spend time with Nate (my husband) and Logan :)<br />
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We ate lunch and then I ran an errand while Nate watched Logan. Around 6pm I was SO tired I could barely keep my eyes open so Nate took over so I could take a nap. He woke me up after an hour (as planned) and I went and picked up our dinners that we had ordered (fish fry - yum!). As I left the house I realized how extremely tired I still was - I picked up our food - and on the way home called my mom as I had missed her call during my nap. She is a fabulous mom and grandma and wanted to check in and make sure we were all still feeling okay. I told her we were fine but that I was just SO tired and I started crying. Then she started crying because she felt bad that she couldn't babysit so we could go out. I told her to not feel bad at all and that really it probably would have been a disaster if we went out because I would have been so tired and then I would have felt bad if I couldn't enjoy myself. When I got home with our food I was still crying and Nate of course was concerned and thought something had happened.<br />
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I told him nothing happened I was just over extended and beyond exhausted - it had been 7 weeks with no more than 3.5 hours sleep at one time! I was just done and had hit rock bottom with my exhaustion. So even though I wanted to be able to spend time with him and watch a movie (or the epic walk across Niagara Falls) he told me to go to sleep after I ate. So I did. I was not able to fall right asleep (crazy how your body even in total exhaustion can manage to be too worried or over think so that you can't sleep - UGH) but when I came out to go to the bathroom Nate suggested I take tylenol pm - so I did - went back to bed read a bit and fell asleep. I slept from about 10pm till 4:40am (with a couple bathroom breaks and checking in on hubby and baby). Then I came out and relieved Nate so he could get some hours sleep before we started our Saturday events. He is still sleeping now and though I am SURE I could have easily slept MUCH longer I am blessed to have had that 6+ hours sleep. My mom said she would be happy to let me catch extra sleep at night after she gets out of work a couple nights during the week so I am sure that will help too.<br />
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So yesterday was a change of plans for sure and this mommy needed that. Though I was sad to have to wait a week to celebrate our anniversary man that was a blessing in disguise (though I wish my poor mom wasn't ill)! I feel improved today although I admit I am already planning out a way to get some extra hours of sleep in tonight... we'll see how that works out.<br />
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Thank you for the comments and encouragement lately. I am sorry that I don't have more positive posts but mommyhood - especially mommyhood of a colicy baby - has really hit me lately. Yesterday when I was so upset from being tired all I could do was feel so guilty because I just wanted to SLEEP! I love my baby boy with all my heart but wow he is tiring and I am very glad that my husband is so hands on and was able to give me that time off to sleep. The little one actually let me put him in his rock n play for a bit so I am going to TRY to rest before I wake hubby up. Much love to you all - please pray that I get a better handle on my sleep and on handling my little screamer. Even more please pray that his colic not last much longer. I feel so bad for the little guy and there is nothing I can do for him - which I HATE!<br />
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<br />Jessicahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15550346625004276669noreply@blogger.com2