~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will carry you - by Selah
(I am sang this at church for my angels on Oct. 1st
it was the first song I heard the fully reminded me of this journey)
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breathe Me - by Sia
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tears in Heaven - by Eric Clapton
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Break Even - by The Script
(I heard this song when I pulled in my driveway after I found out we lost our second baby. Even though I know this song has nothing to do with miscarriage. These parts hit home.)
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing...
They say bad things happen for a reason, but no wise words gonna stop the bleeding...
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slipped Away - by Avril Lavigne
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you are gone, now you are gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The day you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...
I miss you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.
–Robert Munsch, I’ll Love You Forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An angel in the book of life wrote down our babies' births and whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for Earth". - unknown author
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I sought comfort and advice...the best...cam from those who had faced the same trials. Only a bereaved knows the bereaved, I discovered. It's as though we had all stepped into an exclusive room no others could see."
"Grief cannot be hurried. It cannot be forced. It doesn't go away just because the rest of the world thinks there is a certain number of days to finish it up or because tears at odd junctures are unsettling. Grief has its own timeline, its own rhythm."
Quotes from the book - A Cup of Comfort, Classic Edition
From the story 'Drywall in the Time of Grief' by Janet Oakley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Devotional Readings by L.B. Cowman 'Streams in the Desert'
September 2nd's reading - a wonderful friend included a copy of it in a card to me and Nate
"Great Master, touch us with Your skillful hands; Let not the music that is in us die! Great Sculpture, hew and polish us; nore let, Hidden and lost, Your form within us lie!"
"May we never fun from a difficult lesson or flinch from the rod of discipline. Richer will be our crown, and sweeter will heaven be, if we cheerfully endure to the end. Then we will graduate in glory." Theodore L. Cuyler
"Earth's fairest flowers grow not on sunny plain,
But where some vast upheaval tore in twain
The smiling land.
After the whirlwind's devastating blast,
And molten lava, fire, and ashes fall,
God's still small voice breathes healing over all.
From broken rocks and fern-clad chasms deep,
Flow living waters as from hearts that weep,
There in the afterglow soft dews distill
And angels tend God's plants when night falls still,
and the Beloved passing by the way
Will gather lilies at the break of day"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Last of Days - by A Fine Frenzy
Something causing fear to fly
Rising like a dark night
In silence
Traveling like a broken boat
Heading for the sky
And I'm an island
I watched you disappear into the clouds
Swept away into another town
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
The sun is in the east,
Rising for the beasts
And the beauties
I wish that I could tear it down,
Plant it in the ground to warm your face
I built myself a castle on the beach
Watching as it slid into the sea
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days
Through walls and harvest moons
I will fight for you
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the pretty little ponies - by Kenny Loggins
Hush a bye
Don't you cry
Go to sleep my little baby
When you wake
You shall have
All the pretty little ponies
In your bed
Momma said
Baby's riding off to dreamland
One by one
They've begun
Dance and prance for little baby
Blacks and bays
Dapples and greys
Running in the night
When you wake
You shall have
All the pretty little ponies
Can you see the little ponies
Dance before your eyes
All the pretty little ponies
Will be there when you arise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where do I belong? Is it here? Believe in dreams you love so much let the passion of your heart make them real. And tell all the ones you love anything and everything you feel.... secretly wish we could go back and save the child... Believe in dreams, I believe in dreams...... I believe in you..... and tell all the ones you love anything and everything you feel. Believe in dreams, believe in dreams..."
Parts from the song "Believe in Dreams" by Flyleaf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway."
~Mary C. Crowley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts." ~George Eliot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble." ~Moliere
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses." ~Colette
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." ~Lamartine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
Everything I do is stitched with its color."
~W.S. Merwin, "Separation"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?"
~Frances Anne Kemble
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You have to take a day at a time. Tomorrow may be different. Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, but today is cash. You've got today to serve the Lord."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart'" (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Motherhood is a state of both the mind and the heart, a sacred place that is yours no matter the distance between you and your child. Not even Death can take it away." ~ Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I sought comfort and advice...the best...cam from those who had faced the same trials. Only a bereaved knows the bereaved, I discovered. It's as though we had all stepped into an exclusive room no others could see."
"Grief cannot be hurried. It cannot be forced. It doesn't go away just because the rest of the world thinks there is a certain number of days to finish it up or because tears at odd junctures are unsettling. Grief has its own timeline, its own rhythm."
Quotes from the book - A Cup of Comfort, Classic Edition
From the story 'Drywall in the Time of Grief' by Janet Oakley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From Devotional Readings by L.B. Cowman 'Streams in the Desert'
September 2nd's reading - a wonderful friend included a copy of it in a card to me and Nate
"Great Master, touch us with Your skillful hands; Let not the music that is in us die! Great Sculpture, hew and polish us; nore let, Hidden and lost, Your form within us lie!"
"May we never fun from a difficult lesson or flinch from the rod of discipline. Richer will be our crown, and sweeter will heaven be, if we cheerfully endure to the end. Then we will graduate in glory." Theodore L. Cuyler
"Earth's fairest flowers grow not on sunny plain,
But where some vast upheaval tore in twain
The smiling land.
After the whirlwind's devastating blast,
And molten lava, fire, and ashes fall,
God's still small voice breathes healing over all.
From broken rocks and fern-clad chasms deep,
Flow living waters as from hearts that weep,
There in the afterglow soft dews distill
And angels tend God's plants when night falls still,
and the Beloved passing by the way
Will gather lilies at the break of day"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Last of Days - by A Fine Frenzy
Something causing fear to fly
Rising like a dark night
In silence
Traveling like a broken boat
Heading for the sky
And I'm an island
I watched you disappear into the clouds
Swept away into another town
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
The sun is in the east,
Rising for the beasts
And the beauties
I wish that I could tear it down,
Plant it in the ground to warm your face
I built myself a castle on the beach
Watching as it slid into the sea
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days
Through walls and harvest moons
I will fight for you
The world carries on without you
But nothing remains the same
I'll be lost without you
Until the last of days
Until the last of days
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All the pretty little ponies - by Kenny Loggins
Hush a bye
Don't you cry
Go to sleep my little baby
When you wake
You shall have
All the pretty little ponies
In your bed
Momma said
Baby's riding off to dreamland
One by one
They've begun
Dance and prance for little baby
Blacks and bays
Dapples and greys
Running in the night
When you wake
You shall have
All the pretty little ponies
Can you see the little ponies
Dance before your eyes
All the pretty little ponies
Will be there when you arise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where do I belong? Is it here? Believe in dreams you love so much let the passion of your heart make them real. And tell all the ones you love anything and everything you feel.... secretly wish we could go back and save the child... Believe in dreams, I believe in dreams...... I believe in you..... and tell all the ones you love anything and everything you feel. Believe in dreams, believe in dreams..."
Parts from the song "Believe in Dreams" by Flyleaf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway."
~Mary C. Crowley
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts." ~George Eliot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you suppress grief too much, it can well redouble." ~Moliere
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses." ~Colette
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated." ~Lamartine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle
Everything I do is stitched with its color."
~W.S. Merwin, "Separation"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What shall I do with all the days and hours
That must be counted ere I see thy face?
How shall I charm the interval that lowers
Between this time and that sweet time of grace?"
~Frances Anne Kemble
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You have to take a day at a time. Tomorrow may be different. Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, but today is cash. You've got today to serve the Lord."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart'" (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quotes from “An exact replica of a figment of my imagination” by Elizabeth McCracken:
“Your friends may say, Time heals all wounds. No, it doesn't, but eventually you'll feel better. You'll be yourself again. Your child will still be dead. The frivolous parts of your personality, stubborner than you'd imagined, will grow up through the cracks in your soul.”
“I am that thing worse than a cautionary tale: I am a horror story, an example of something terrible going wrong when you least expect it, and for no good reason, a story to be kept from pregnant women, a story so grim and lesson-less it's better not to think about at all.”
“There is no way for such an event to leave you who you are”
“This is why you need everyone you know know after a disaster, because there is not one right response. It's what paralyzes people around the grief-stricken, of course, the idea that there are right things to say and wrong things and it's better to say nothing than something clumsy.”
“I am trying to remember what I have thought when I've done the same thing, all those times I didn't mention some great sadness upon seeing someone for the first time. Did I really think that by not saying words of consolation aloud, I was doing people a favor? As though to mention sadness I was “reminding” them of the the terrible thing?”
“When people say, What have you been up to I hesitate. I will tell myself, Now, if this were a husband or father or sister who died, you wouldn't simply omit the fact. If I say anything, people mostly change the subject anyway, and I can't say that I blame them.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Motherhood is a state of both the mind and the heart, a sacred place that is yours no matter the distance between you and your child. Not even Death can take it away." ~ Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
