21w4d pregnant!

So as Christmas draws near I am filled with hope as I feel my little Logan move more and more each day. But at the same time there is this nagging voice in my head that tells me not to get naive again and think that we are out of the woods. I worry but I have faith that all will be well this time around. I pray that I am right. I pray for our little boy every day and night and that my body will not fail this sweet child.

This is the Christmas card that I made to send out to family this year

I felt bad for not including Riley, Peyton, and Cameron on the card but I knew that many people would not understand and I can't emotionally handle judging remarks and/or questions from anyone with all these hormones raging around in my pregnant body. I gave one to my grandma today and she loved it she said Logan was very cute and thought it was amazing that the u/s showed so much detail - she's so sweet. I wish I could show it to my Nana - I wish she was still here, she would have been thrilled to have a second great grandchild. But at the same time I know she is in a much better place and out of all the pain that cancer brought her. It was just SO sudden and she was gone so soon. You can read more about that here is you are interested.

So much has happened since last Christmas. I got surgery to remove the tissue in my uterus. My husband and I went to FL and met his two brothers and sister (who he had NEVER met - they are all in their 30s) and his two aunts (who he hadn't seen since he was ten (he's now 25)! We celebrated our anniversary by going to Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure. We went camping with my family to the Adirondack Mts. where I fell and injured myself quite badly. Me and my mom left camping to go to my Nana's bedside where she passed early the next morning from a rare form of Leukemia (she was diagnosed with it 2 days before though we knew it could happen someday it was VERY sudden). I got pregnant the next month with twins and took a road trip to visit my husband's sister in VA, then to his one Aunt in SC and to see his Nana and Papa (who he had not seen in 5 years). Lost one twin at 10 weeks pregnant. Found out we were having a little boy! Made it to many milestones in this pregnancy now I have been pregnant over twice as long as ever! It's amazing how much can happen in a year....

This year I have far more hope in my heart than I did last Christmas. I pray this hope is not naive. I pray you all have comfort and peace this holiday season. I will be mourning my three angels and my Nana as we celebrate. <3

Riley, Peyton, and Cameron,
Hold each other tight this Christmas and always remember mommy and daddy love you. Please hug Nana for me and tell her the whole family misses her dearly. Hugs and kisses to you my sweet angels!