Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The pregnancy effect....

So today I was out at some craft stores.... pretty much the only places I shop.... and I see a pregnant woman. I swear that this woman was in every random aisle I went in!

While I know that she of course was not REALLY following me it was so aggravating. I'm sure all you BLMs out there have been there before you see a pregnant woman and your heart just stops for a minute. Your chest seizes up. You feel a bit sick. All of this within a matter of seconds and then you do the best you can to forget it and go on about your business. That's the PREGNANCY EFFECT.

All of that 'forgeting"  is well and good until you continue to run into the woman in every aisle or even worse (or at least AS bad) you run into MORE pregnant woman and the effect continues and multiplies and before you know it you (or at least me anyway) feel like everyone in the whole freaking world is pregnant! Everyone but you... it's weird to think how little I even noticed pregnant women back in my naive years and now they seem to be everywhere. My old totally crazy college professor would have called this synchronicity. The best way I explain her definition of that is that you are thinking of that so you see it, or something along those lines. Another site calls it "the cosmos winking at you". Well if that's the case the cosmos can take their winks elsewhere thank you very much!

I saw a variety of pregnant women or women with children that were very young (like Riley would be now). It's so frustrating. If only we could just scream and people wouldn't think we were crazy ;) 

Strange that these women have no idea that there are some people that see them and cringe. Some that wish they were them. Some that will never have a carefree pregnancy. It's all so overwhelming. Oddly enough I think even when I am pregnant it may still be a shock to see pregnant women. Weird as that may seem. This fright, this nightmare of worry isn't going to magically disappear when I'm pregnant. Honestly I'm afraid to not be scared. When I stopped being afraid with Peyton, I lost Peyton.

Life is strange....

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."
~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"

Momma and Daddy love you so much Riley & Peyton


  1. I can tell you, even being pregnant again doesn't make that feeling go away. I still react to the sight of a pregnant woman. I still have the urge to run up and warn her that it could end anyday. I still wonder if she is a pregnant BLM. If she isn't I wonder why it was so easy for her. The feelings don't go away with the next baby unfortunately, I think some of them even multiply.

  2. Hey there;) I have to say that miscarriage totally changed my view when I look around now. I wonder if I am the pregnant person that is making someone's day horrible. I almost feel ashamed to be pregnant this time...like I dont deserve it. Its hard to feel joy when I know people are wanting what I have. I understand everything you said though. Gosh, two weeks after my miscarriage I saw 5 pregnant women in Ikea! Its a terrible feeling and I hope I dont do that to someone now...but Im sure that I do, so I just pray about it everyday for those people to have strength and peace. Love ya!


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