The last post I talked about how I was sick of the way I look, being overweight, etc. I still am but guess what? Monday after substitute teaching I was desperately tired but something made me try the workout DVD I've had for months! And I have now done the workout three days in a row. Step in the right direction - painful one at that - but I am proud of myself.
Grief is a funny - not funny ha ha - what I mean to say is it's confusing. Every day is like a ride. One day it may be an exciting rollercoaster - a day full of hope and great expectations. The next day (or even within the same day) it is like a horror story. Then there are the days that are more of a Merry, Go Round - not to exciting but interesting nonetheless. Forest Gump's mom was right - life really IS like a box of chocolates you really do NEVER know what you are gonna get.
I went to see the movie Soul Surfer with a friend yesterday. It is about a young girl who had just become a pro surfer (she was 'signed' so I assume that means she was pro) and while out in the water she gets her arm bitten off by a shark! To make a long story short without giving too much away. Through perseverance and a whole lot of faith in God she gets through it and even learns how to surf with only one arm (trust me there's far more to it - you can learn all that from a trailer)!! If interested you can read my review and watch the trailer on my movie review blog. This line in the movie just truly hit me - I would have probably balled my eyes out had my friend not been right next to me. Just thinking of the line makes me tear up.
"I don't know why terrible things happen to us sometimes. But I have to believe something good is going to come from this."
This girl lost her arm and was able to still treat people with kindness who stared at her. To treat a competitor in a surf competition with kindness even though that person was mean to her. She was so loving through it all. I am in NO way comparing losing a limb to child loss. But I think we can all agree it would be a difficult thing to go through and a hard thing to understand. As a baby loss mom I certainly can't UNDERSTAND why I had to lose both of my children. Maybe I never will. But at the same time I know that something good will come of it. Maybe it already has...maybe this blog is part of that good. Maybe talking about my loss rather than ignoring it like society does will help someone. If it even makes a difference to one person through their grief it is good. I'm not going to lie - I, just as any of us would - would take my children back in an INSTANT if I could - but the Lord knows, and I know, that can't happen.