Sunday, December 26, 2010

Faithfully following Him....

Those who hate religious talk - I'm sorry but it's a large part of me and a HUGE part of this grief journey - I am not trying to convert you, offend you, or anything of the sort but this is MY area and my faith in Christ is a huge part of the package that is me. If you wish to read no further I understand and do not judge in any way...

Today in church our youth pastor gave a wonderful sermon about how Jesus is the only true king and how he should be the center of our lives.
He spoke about how He should give us identity, value, purpose, security - because HE will NEVER let us down. NEVER. He is always there for us - thick or thin, through trials and tribulations, He will never leave our side. As the end he asked us to ask some questions to ourselves. These were the questions....
1--Who/what is my Judge I am living to earn the approval of?
2--Who/what is my Lord that rules over my life determining how I live?
3--Who/what do I look towards for my significance?
4--Who/what if taken from your life would cause you to not walk as faithfully with God?
5--Who/what do I devote my time and money to?

My answers:
1--I am looking to earn approval from God, to walk as rightly as I can in this world and to be the example I should be for Him to others.

2--The Lord rules over my life and I do the best I can to make that clear to others though I am not perfect.

3--This ones tough - I put a lot of significance into being a mother - I look towards having children as making my life significant. Before that (and even sometimes still I looked to getting a teaching job because that could make me have a significant impact on children). I know the Lord knows all and He is all I need but sometimes, I will not lie, my mind is clouded with those other thoughts.

4--Well obviously both my children were taken from me and I still walk faithfully. Could my walk be better? Sure - and I will work to improve that - but I survived this hurricane in my life so far. If all possibility of having children was taken from me I would stumble in my walk - I would be freaking mad - but I would not give up on God. If my husband was taken from me the same would happen but I would not give up on God. I pray that NEITHER of these things will occur. I pray my trials with having children will soon be over and that my husband will be with me until the day I die. But I am not dumb enough to think I control this either....

5--I don't devote enough time to God of this I am sure. Mainly I devote a lot of time to my art, my blog, my husband, etc. and my money - to bills. Given unemployment it has made tithing an issue that will be resolved in time. But I could surely devote more time to God.

I pray that my faith will blossom and that my time with God will increase. I know that my babies are with Him and I hope my babies know how much I love them and God. If they are watching, listening, peeking in from time to time...I want them to be proud of their momma as I am proud of them.

I miss you my sweet Riley & Peyton and I always will. I hope you enjoyed Christmas in Heaven - I'm sure it was a glorious site to behold!

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing! I am reading the Purpose driven life now and it's got a lot of similar questions. hard to face sometimes, but important. =)


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