Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Can't even leave a haircut happy :*(

So I needed to get my hair cut before vacation because it was getting rather long. So I scheduled it for after my sub job today and my hairstylist knows my history with miscarriages. She has lost a baby too. So you would think that would be a safe zone right? WRONG!

She always asks me if I am pregnant and today I replied "late next month is the first time it will be possible". We talked a bit about my crazy MIL (and trust me she IS crazy). Then my sister came up in conversation and she says to me "What if she gets pregnant before you?" and I said I would be really upset. To which she replied "well you're both fertile myrtles you know she is going to get pregnant before you - just get over it" (something like that anyways). I told here that they aren't even trying and she said "if it's God's will for her to get pregnant first she will and you'll be okay with it" and I said no I'll be mad but I'll have to deal with it if it happens.

I think at that point she realized I was upset. She said "now you got yourself all fired up" and I'm sitting there going YOU DID THIS not me!

Oh my gosh I could just SCREAM!

How awful! The worst part is it isn't the first time that she said that to me! OBVIOUSLY this is not a conversation I want to have so shut up already!

Sadly I think that it would be easier for people to be happy for my sister. Even though their financial situation isn't the greatest I feel like no one will even worry about that with them. She doesn't have a history of loss so it will be easier to not be filled with worry over her pregnancy. The whole freaking church wants my sister to get pregnant and honestly being around people saying that makes me sick! They all know what I have been through and their rudeness and ignorance is really starting to piss me off!

It may sound bad but I am ready for a vacation from it all. For a few weeks I won't have to be around that. I'll go off to Florida with Nate and pretend those dumb freaking comments don't exist for awhile. Pretend that the world isn't full of idiots who can't wait to say things until I'm out of earshot. It would be one thing if they didn't know my history - but they do - and it's really offensive. It makes me sad and I'm so so so sick of being sad. It seems like whenever I am feeling okay with where I am and happy someone has to say something to take a big crap all over it. Well thanks a lot! The last thing I need right now is stupidity so please take it elsewhere!

Check out these two videos at the links below - they are by my favorite group Flyleaf:

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

I will love you forever Riley & Peyton! You mean the world to me and no one can take that away from me. Mommy and Daddy miss you very much!


  1. Im sorry people are dumb. I dont know what it is about weddings...but it instantly starts the "when are you gonna have kids??" questions. I can totally understand you being mad if your sister gets pregnant before you. We have talked before about how you would NEVER want anything to happen to anyone else's pregnancy...but it doesn't mean that its easy to be over the moon when someone is pregnant either. I think your vacation will be good for you both:) I remember taking a mini vacation after my miscarriage and it just felt good to be in a place where not everyone knew me. I was just a "regular" person. Have fun in Florida!!

  2. I can't wait to hear about all the fun you're going to have in Florida! ENJOY! You deserve it!


  3. Um, yeah, she's a little thick. Okay, not a little, she IS thick. I really hope you aren't going to go back to her. Surely there is someone else out there just as capable with a ton more empathy. That was just BS. I seriously hope she went home that night and thought about how stupid she was and regretted saying it. Most people don't even try to walk a mile in anyone else's shoes, and those people are usually self-important and think that no one else matters. I hope you didn't leave her a tip besides writing, "Work on your empathy" on your receipt.

  4. That's rough, really rough. My hairdresser had also subjected me to 21 questions last time I was there - I just sat there dumbstruck not knowing what to say and it turned out that was the perfect reaction. She felt awkward and instantly said 'yeah, I know, its none of my business". So perhaps if you do go back to her and she brings it up again, just say that you don't know, you'd rather not talk about it. It's hard to avoid sometimes, I know and yes, people are THICK. Have an awesome trip - you deserve a bit of a break!!


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