The ignorance of people & Riley's angelversary

First of all I would like to say that I miss my babies dearly and I always will. No matter I lost how many ignorant people decide to impart their judgement and arrogant nonsense opinions on me I will ALWAYS remember them!

A year ago today I found out I had lost my sweet baby Riley. My life changed forever that day and I lost the naive carefree girl I once was. Such a loss adds years to your life and heaviness to your heart. Really no one can fully understand that unless they have also lost a child. I realized first hand today that even some BLMs are ignorant too.

I (as many BLMs do) started an "event" on Facebook that just asked people to remember Riley for one minute today or to light a candle if they could. I can't leave the house given I am recovering from my surgery so I thought it would be nice to have others remember Riley since I can't leave the house and do a balloon release like I would have liked to.

So I see that a "friend" and BLM that I worked with at one point and just had a baby chose to "not attend" befor getting mad about it I wrote her and said:

"Just wanted to say congratulations on your baby!
I saw you choose to NOT attend my event for my baby? All I want people to do is light a candle or even think about my child for a second on 2/11 so I don't really understand the not attending? May I ask why you did that?"

THIS was her response (that I got to read while in physical pain from surgery & overly emotional given lack of sleep and the fact that I lost Riley a year ago today):

"I don't want to be rude or anything. I know what is like to have two miscarriages, but in my opinion you need to get past it. I know you want to remember them, but don't understand why you constantly remind yourself of what happened. I guess I just cope differently. I felt better just forgetting what happened even before I was able to successfully conceive. I grieved for a few days and it was over. I felt better mentally and emotionally just putting it behind me. There is nothing I could do to change it so why keep thinking about it. It would only make me more sad.

I am also not very religious, so the nature of your event makes me uncomfortable.

I hope I didn't offend you, but I gave you my honest opinion. Please understand where I am coming from and its nothing against you.

I hope you are recovering well from your surgery, I just saw your post about that."

SOOOOO DELETE DELETE DELETE
after responding with this:

"I figured you should understand because you had lost a child but I guess as you explained I was wrong. The was an exceptionally rude and nasty thing to say to me especially after I went through this surgery and a year after I lost my baby. Yes, you did offend me. A lot. This event has nothing to do with religion other than the fact that I believe my children are in Heaven. So I suppose it would be easy to forget my children if I thought they did not exist. If you believe they don't exist then I'm sure it was easier to get over. That is not the case for me and it makes me sad if that is the case for you.
I will recover just fine. Thank you. Good luck with your future."

Trust me when I say that is NOT what I wanted to say at first. But honestly why stoop to the level of being nasty? It wasn't worth it. Never is. I find it hilarious the vibe I got from the message where it seems like she thinks it makes her a better mom to have gotten over her losses. Absolutely insane. I don't "remind myself" of my babies because they were never forgotten. If they can't live on Earth they can at least live through my words and thoughts. And there is NOTHING bad or unhealthy about that!


Nonetheless I just had to get that out but I am in a lot of pain now so I must be off. Recovery is anything but fun especially on such a hard day. My heart is heavy.

I miss you Riley, and I always will...