Monday, September 6, 2010

Calm before the storm?

Today was a good day. There were no tears, not much sadness, and just a bit of unexpectedness at the end of the night. Today was a large improvement on yesterday. I credit this to my family. They pretty much rock. Which I know I have said before... I woke up, showered, and almost immediately went to my parents (a whopping few minutes away) to do my laundry as Monday is laundry day. Well given it is a holiday today both my parents were home (poor Nate had too work). So I started the laundry and sat down and began to paint one of my in progress wedding boards. Then I found a great movie.....Tremors! Stop laughing it is a classic! Love it love it love it....


What was supposed to be a couple hours turned into all day and till like 9:30 at night. We ordered food which Nate picked up on his way home and then we played bid euchre.... SO much fun! Great game. Which my stupid headache would go away though. it's probably my body telling me to sleep. It should realize I never listen. I posted a pic of my henna design BEFORE I took off the paste. IN a few days I will post the after. I would like to state I am thrilled fall has begun to arrive. This summer was way to hot for western new york!


So the unexpectedness at the end of the night was we were walking onto the porch to go inside after leaving my parents and a car pulls up. It is my mother in law who we have not seen in over a year or pretty darn close. She lives like 5 mins. away so it is weird that she has at least not seen her son but I digress.... that is not something I even remotely care to talk about. It was odd I did not know what to do so I stayed upstairs. Nate told me she wanted me to come down and just give her a hug and she would go. I said I was not mentally prepared for this and I don't want to talk about my miscarriage with her right now. I probably will never want to but surely not now! She was sweet just hugged me and said she was sorry. That was a relief. It went well... also unexpected. Life is quite the mystery....


As for the calm before the storm title.... tomorrow is my doctor's appt. - follow up on my D & C. I am hoping the testing of the remains will be back but I am trying not to be too hopeful so as not to be disappointed. I am worried that there will be many tears. I dread a room full of people in general in my sometimes extremely fragil state. Tomorrow it will be filled with pregnant women. It won't be good. The pit in my stomach tells me there is no way that will be good. I also need to break to my doctor that I am going to a specialist to get testing instead of having him do it. He will live but I don't enjoy confrontation. Not like that will be an argument but given the choice I prefer to talk as little as possible lately (at least sometimes). Anyways. It's gonna be an interesting week. Hopefully filled with more smiles and less crying in front of people. That would be nice.

Mommy loves you sweet angels. Goodnight.


  1. Hey Jess, wish there was something I could do for you! I know you will work yourself through this. It's wonderful you have your family to help you :) Good luck my dear, I know that things will work out for you both!

    P.S... I love the movie Tremors, too :)

  2. Danille - LOVE the "nillers" name LOL so great! And yea that movie is awesome!

  3. HA :) It was my screen name from highschool... I have no idea how to change it, believe me, if I could, I would!


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