Confessions

So a blogger I just love did a post like this and it had me thinking.... so here are some of my confessions maybe sometime I'll make a part 2, etc. Thank you for the inspiration Angela :)

Sometimes I feel like a lazy parent. I play with my son, I love him, we giggle, he is happy and has met important milestones but I always feel there is more I should be doing and that I will have more experience if/when we have more children and that poor Logan gets the short end of the stick.

I feel like I have totally screwed his sleep up. His last bedtime is between 1-3 am right now though he does sleep 6-9 hours once he's asleep. He also ALWAYS falls asleep on one of us. I feel like my overprotective cuddling and constant worrying has made it hard for him to sleep :( but my mom says I was the same and it got better so that gives me hope!

The first 4 months Logan was with us I seriously didn't know if I could handle having more children. Luckily things improved! I love him so much and would go through those hellish 3 months again if I had too! But WOW were they hard.

I would NEVER have chosen to lose any of my babies but I don't know if I could have handled twins. That makes me sad. Though I know I would have risen to the challenge has Cameron also been born!

Speaking of messed up sleep I am TERRIFIED to put Logan in his own crib. So terrified.

TMI confession - sometimes I don't shower for a couple days in a row. I kept forgetting to put deoderant on  so I had to start carrying it in my purse.

Sometimes I wonder if it is selfish for me to stay at home.

Nothing makes me happier than holding Logan. He smiles now all the time and I love that he reaches up and touches my face. I feel every day like I could not love him more....but every day I do.

I wish that my Nana would have gotten to meet him. I dream of her all the time. I worry that I won't properly include her and Riley, Peyton, and Cameron into Logan's life.

Every day I feel like I have done something wrong but I know he is happy and that makes me realize all will be okay.

I often want to scream at people who seem ungrateful for their children and I hate when people call their living children angels.

Sadly I don't have many close friends or any that I see on a very regular basis I often feel BLMs know me better then many friends I have in real life. I wish we all lived near each other!

Comedy night routine

Soooo last night (and many nights sometimes) I feel like I am in a Rom/Com scene of some movie about a couple with a baby.

Now were this to be in a movie I would laugh. Is it funny when it happens to me? Ummm NO!

SOooo poor little Logan is teething :( boo for us but obviously OUCH for him - poor dude. Nonetheless it has SERIOUSLY screwed his sleeping up! LIKE WHOA! His last bedtime (his long stretch of 5-8 hours depending on the night) is anywhere from 1am to 3am lately. So that sucks - nuff said.

Last night little one was FULL of energy at like 2am  I was all like Logan it's sleepy time and he was like HEHEHEHE giggle giggle bouncing on my lap and kicking away. He wasn't having it LOL! So my husband had just gotten home at like 1am (he works 2nd shift of 4pm to midnight) and he headed to bed leaving me with my LITERALLY bouncing bundle of joy!

Finally around 3am the little dear zonked out after having a 4 oz. bottle. So I take him upstairs at like 3:30am making sure he's FAST ASLEEP. I go to lay him in the Rock n Play in our room and I can't figure out WHAT THAT SOUND IS! I lay him down and realize it is my husband. SNORING! Ugh! Soooooooo LOUD! Not cool cause ummm I'm tired! So I go to the bathroom come back and nudge him (which is like trying to wake a hibernating bear!) and he finally looks at me with huge not happy eyes:

Nate: WHAT?
Me: You are SNORING you have to turn on your side
Nate: Yea yea ok

he starts to sleep again STILL on his back and starts snoring again
***I nudge the hibernating bear AGAIN***

Me: Babe I NEED to sleep it is 4am please turn on your side!
Nate: WHAT?

(he's deaf when he wakes up I SWEAR - it's ridiculous! I wear ear plugs and I hear better then him!)

Me: I have told you already you NEED to sleep on your side or I will NEVER sleep! People can hear your snore in CHINA!
Nate: *gets out of bed* I have no memory of you telling me this...

he goes to the bathroom and come back in bed and lays on his back AGAIN - at this point I want to smack him! I poke him lightly

Nate: WHAT? You scared the crap out of me!
Me: I barely touched you ya lunatic I told you to sleep on your side you're snoring!
Nate: *rolls his eyes* fine!

he rolls on his side - not even 5 minutes later STILL SNORING (this doesn't happen often - usually only when he's sick so I hope THAT isn't happening) I nudge him...

Me: You are still snoring does one of us need to go down on the couch?
Nate: *mumbles* No *starts snoring again*

I tried to nudge him to get him to go downstairs - no dice.
So I was like whatever and I left. I go back upstairs at 9:30am with a SERIOUSLY sore back and:

Nate: What happened?
Me: I pretty much got no sleep because you couldn't stop snoring and you IGNORED me and wouldn't go downstairs so now my back is all messed up again AND I need more sleep!
Nate: Oh.
Me: I pretty much wanted to strangle you last night - just so you know.
Nate: Oh wow!
Me: I am going to sleep till like noon so leftovers for lunch!
Nate: OK.

he takes Logan downstairs. UGH my rom/com moment was SO not cool!

Ever had a similar situation?

this was not taken last night LOL but on a night where I got MUCH more sleep ;)

Holiday Ornament Exchange

The Remembering Swaps Ornament exchange is up and running again this year. We are sorry that the notice is short but you don't have much time to sign up so head on over and get a move on :) It is always a healing moment to receive an ornament for your child and to see their name - at least it is for me!'