Confessions

So a blogger I just love did a post like this and it had me thinking.... so here are some of my confessions maybe sometime I'll make a part 2, etc. Thank you for the inspiration Angela :)

Sometimes I feel like a lazy parent. I play with my son, I love him, we giggle, he is happy and has met important milestones but I always feel there is more I should be doing and that I will have more experience if/when we have more children and that poor Logan gets the short end of the stick.

I feel like I have totally screwed his sleep up. His last bedtime is between 1-3 am right now though he does sleep 6-9 hours once he's asleep. He also ALWAYS falls asleep on one of us. I feel like my overprotective cuddling and constant worrying has made it hard for him to sleep :( but my mom says I was the same and it got better so that gives me hope!

The first 4 months Logan was with us I seriously didn't know if I could handle having more children. Luckily things improved! I love him so much and would go through those hellish 3 months again if I had too! But WOW were they hard.

I would NEVER have chosen to lose any of my babies but I don't know if I could have handled twins. That makes me sad. Though I know I would have risen to the challenge has Cameron also been born!

Speaking of messed up sleep I am TERRIFIED to put Logan in his own crib. So terrified.

TMI confession - sometimes I don't shower for a couple days in a row. I kept forgetting to put deoderant on  so I had to start carrying it in my purse.

Sometimes I wonder if it is selfish for me to stay at home.

Nothing makes me happier than holding Logan. He smiles now all the time and I love that he reaches up and touches my face. I feel every day like I could not love him more....but every day I do.

I wish that my Nana would have gotten to meet him. I dream of her all the time. I worry that I won't properly include her and Riley, Peyton, and Cameron into Logan's life.

Every day I feel like I have done something wrong but I know he is happy and that makes me realize all will be okay.

I often want to scream at people who seem ungrateful for their children and I hate when people call their living children angels.

Sadly I don't have many close friends or any that I see on a very regular basis I often feel BLMs know me better then many friends I have in real life. I wish we all lived near each other!