Monday, May 30, 2011

Pet peeves of a BLM

I can't even begin to tell you how little people "get" what it's like to be a BLM. I'm sure all you BLMs out there totally understand what I mean. The other day though REALLY put me over my limit for ignorance.

I have mentioned in past posts:

How I hated when I friend of mine commented that she also couldn't stand seeing pregnant woman. I explained to her that it being hard for her to get pregnant is not the same as being reminded that your two children are dead! She didn't seem phased and seemed to think there was no difference! SO ANNOYING!
**please note I DO realize that being infertile IS awful! I just don't like the death of my children being compared to it!**

How people think it shouldn't be a big deal because I know my babies are in Heaven. Nice to know but while it may bring me peace to know I will see them one day it sure doesn't freaking make me HAPPY!

How "everything happens for a reason" is getting real old REAL fast! While I do believe that there was a purpose to my loss. It is NOT comforting to here that saying over and over again. I would rather someone say they are "thinking about me" or "praying for me" or simply offer a hug. I'm so over "everything happens for a reason"

When I was getting balloons to release on Riley's due date the woman selling the balloons proclaimed she had a bunch of miscarriages to and it was no big deal. That I would be fine. I've had just about enough of the people that tell me to "let it go" or "stop reliving it". If my children had been 10 when they passed away it would have been different but I'm just supposed to forget about them because you never met them? SORRY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! If MY loss makes YOU uncomfortable then keep on walking. No need to talk to me. I have no need for self righteous advice! Go talk to someone who cares!

 Okay so those are some PAST mentions of pet peeves. Trust me there are many many more I am sure I could think of but that is enough for now. The most recent one is all the people commenting to my sister (who JUST got married April 23rd) that she needs to have kids.

I can't even count the amount of times children were brought up at their wedding! It was so hard to stand up there as Matron of Honor and keep hearing comments about them having kids. It was just so hard. THEN at church yesterday I met my cousins little newborn and after I held him my sister did and a variety of people made comments. Such as "He looks good in your arms" or "When are you going to have a little one" or "I tried to talk her into having a honeymoon baby". ALL of these people KNOW that I have lost both my children. Why can't they just SHUT UP and not say this crap around me?!? Can the almost 30 year old please get pregnant first! Is that too much to ask? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sorry for the rant but WOW that was REALLY upsetting!

1 comment:

  1. I really don't understand why people say such dumb things! That was part of the grieving process for me. I expected so many people (ESPECIALLY people who had been through it) to just be there for me...but instead everyone had to "make me better" with their little sayings. I actually heard "you are fertile will get pregnant again!" and "we've all had one ( meaning a miscarriage)". I just couldn't believe it. I felt like I lost my pregnancy and friends all at the same time. It was a lot to deal with. I think of you every day and I can't WAIT for you to have a wonderful vacation this month and then great news of a baby on the way:)


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