At one of the booths halfway through the show a woman told me my necklace was beautiful and asked me where I got it. I told her it was handstamped and it was for my babies in heaven. That I had a couple miscarriages in the past 7 months. She asked if we were still trying and I said yes as l could try we would try. She said she had also suffered two miscarriages. I did not have the courage to ask her if she had any children. I was too afraid that she would say they never had children. Too afraid to even put that thought into my head. To even consider that a possibility. But I was proud that I talked about Riley and Peyton in public to a perfect stranger without breaking down and sobbing. Without falling to the ground in broken pieces. This is a big step and I am glad it was on a good day a day where I had the strength to live through it. It didn't ruin my day which is a big step too.
Here is a picture :)
|Me my mom and my sister at the craft show|
So all in all today was a good day. I fear that it has been awhile since tears have come in large amounts and with what would have been Riley's due date looming over me and coming in two days I fear they will come. We will see. Until then I hope to have sweet dreams. I wish sweet dreams to you all....
"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away. '
From the song Praise you in this storm by Casting Crowns
Mommy loves you Riley and Peyton. Whether others stop asking about you or forget you. We never will. I will tell your story at every chance I am given. You are my babies and you deserve that. Mommy and daddy love you so very much.